Beth's World

HAPPY 2012 - To my BELOVED FRIENDS AND FAMILY

2012-01-06T17:21:00.002+09:00

To me, 2011 has been an alarming year. A year which passed by so fast that the next thing I realize, in less than 10 hours, it will be 2012.

There are a lot of things which I thought I would have done, and lots of things which I never thought I would have done, and had done.

I have come to understand many things in life. I have learnt to cherish the present, while treasuring the past, and at the same time, look forward to the future with optimism.

I have learnt to love myself more. And I love my family now even more.

It has been a challenging year for me, finding a reason to crazy things happening around me, trying to get into university etc.

Everything managed to end in a sort-of favorable way, which simply means I should be ready to accept new challenges in Year 2012.

I, am ready, for 2012. Are you?

My dear friends and family, I hereby wish you all

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR

AND MAY 2012 BE A GREAT YEAR

WITH LOTS OF GOOD SURPRISES AND REWARDS !!!

I love you all~

Love,

Xiao Thong (Beth)

福島県郡山で八神純子さんと共演！皆さんありがとう！

2011-11-10T12:55:00.006+09:00

２０１１年１１月６日、福島県郡山のなかまち夢通りで開催されたウィンターフェスティバル２０１１で八神純子さんと一緒に "We Are With You"歌いました！

一言で言いますと、とても素敵な経験でした。

めっちゃくちゃ緊張しましたが。。。笑。

（　八神さんのTwitterにての写真です。http://twitter.com/#!/junko_yagami　）

左から：

小林はるひこ、ベス（私）、杉山泰（keyboard)、八神純子、江口マサヨシ(guitar)

八神さんが、とても優しい方で、たくさんの事について話せて本当によかったと思います。

東北でボランティアの事や、3.11大震災や、生命などに対する意見が似ていて、八神さんと一緒に共演する事による不安などが和らげました。

まだまだ作曲編曲修行中の私がこのようなパフォーマンスをする機会を与えてくれた方々、

八神純子さん、当日キーボード弾きの杉山泰先生、本当にありがとうございました。

この曲を作って、いつか東北に行って、多くの方に元気を付けたいという強い気持ちで、"We Are With You"を歌うのが目標でした。

また、音楽をやっている人間として、プロのミュージシャンと一緒に共演するのが大きな夢です。

今回の事を通じて、プロの作曲家を目指す私にとって、二つの目標を達成する事ができたのでしょう。

パフォーマンスを実現することができて、たくさんの先生方や、友達が応援して下さったからです。

私を陰から応援してくれた方は何人もいました。いや、いつまでもいると信じています。

6日が郡山でパフォーマンスで、実は5日が名古屋での受験日でした。

その前に、パフォーマンスのためのリハーサルがありました。

大学受験、プロのミュージシャン方とのリハーサルやパフォーマンス、

全て、人生初めてなんです。

-　小論文の書き方を全力助けてくれた友達

-　連続三日間も早起きしないといけない私を起こすためにメールや電話を入れてくれた友達。

-　リハーサルは緊張するでしょうと想定してくれて、同伴する先生がいた方がいいと思ってくれた杉山先生。また、時間を作って一緒にリハーサルに行ってくれた根本先生も

-　パフォーマンスを記念するのために、苦労した先生方＆小林君

-　譜面を何回も訂正してくれた安保先生

-　曲を一緒につくってくれた友達や、何回も関東でパフォーマンスをしてくれた留学生たちやその活動を応援してくれている文化外国語専門学校の先生方＆寮長の秋山先生

-　過剰に達成感に耽らないようにいつでも丁寧に、時に厳しくいろいろ言ってくれる親友の麻衣ちゃん

-　私一番のファンのお父さん＆お母さんや家族のみんな

これ以外にも、受験＆パフォーマンスの事でメールや電話で応援して下さった友達何人もいました。

本当にありがとうございました。

この一週間を乗り越える事ができて、ミュージシャンを目指す私、東北でのボランティア活動で活躍している私、すごく大きな事だと思います。

しかし、私にとって、今回の事を通じて、一番大事な事が、「人との繋がり」というものです。

私達はいつまでもいろいろな形で東北の方々を応援している事と、

私を応援してくれている方も何人もいて、本当に幸福に恵まれているという事を実感しました。

東京に戻るための新幹線に乗る前に、八神さんが貴重な言葉を与えてくれました。

「Keep writing.」と言ってくれました。

いつまでも曲を書き続けてください。という意味でしょう。

「Keep writing」はします。もちろんします。がんばります。

「Keep writing」をしたら、どのような成功に至るのか、その生きる手本のような人間が目の前にいるからです。

11/6に郡山で行われた八神純子さんのミニ・ライブはふくしまFMで11月13日(日)18時～に放送されるようです。radikoで日本全国どこからでもPCで聴けます。http://fukkou.radiko.jp/　

Song For Japan　-　We Are With You　

留学生達が日本に捧げる曲　“一緒に居ます”

福島第一原発の30キロ圏内、住民のDaiさんをフォローしてください

2011-04-01T16:23:00.002+09:00

みなさんにお願いがあります！

福島第一原発の30キロ圏内、住民のDaiさんをフォローしてください！

Daiさんのツイッター：http://twitter.com/VC_SPEELGOED
Mayumi Geaterさんのツイッター：http://twitter.com/Yumely

昨日BBCニュースで" Japan quake: Inside the evacuation zone" という記事を読みました。福島第一原発の20-30キロ圏内住んでるSaito Daiさんが現地の現状について書かれた記事です。

こういう記事は何故、日本語で報道されてないのか？？
日本全国の人に知らせるべき事について書かれているのに、何故、Mayumi Geaterさんに協力してBBCで英語で報道されてるのに、
日本語では報道されていないかと疑問があって、（ツイッターで）Mayumi Geaterさんに直接連絡して、日本語にしてほしい！！というリクエストをしました。BBCで報道されてるなら、全世界の（せめて英語がわかる）人々が読めるという事になってるのです。

全世界の人々を日本の現状を知らせるのが重要なのですが、もっとも重要なのは、

現地の方々、日本の人たちに情報を与える事なんでしょう！

ニッポンよ～がんばってください。And, 教えてください！

2011-03-23T22:43:00.002+09:00

この２年間、シンガポールはずいぶん変わったと思う。道路音痴になっちゃってるし。
オーチャードロードで迷子になって、10分くらい地図を見ながら道を探して、やっと”在シンガポール日本国大使館”（名前長いな）にたどり着いた。
大使館のCulture Centreに設置してある募金箱にお金を入れ、椅子に座ろうとしたら転びそうになって、大使館のスタッフ二人「だいじょうぶですか？！！」ってすごく焦って手伝おうとしてくれた。本格的に転んでなかったから大丈夫でした。笑。

「ニッポンよ〜がんばってください。シンガポールから応援してます。」と記帳に書き込んだ。

〜〜〜〜〜〜

この事で出会った人、感じた気持ち、持った考え、言った言葉、聞いた言葉、した事、された事、させられた事などから
いろいろな複雑な感情を持つようになってる。
恐怖や、悲しみや、怒りなど嫌な気持ちを感じる事も、愛や切望など素敵な気持ちも感じる事ができた。
この事で「どんな気持ちですか？」とよく聞かれたんですけど、「Emotional」（です）としか答えられなかったんです。みんな笑いながら「what? what do you mean by 'emotional'? specify?」と反応してるけど、、、
自分は唾を呑み、何秒も沈黙になって、
やっぱり、"I'm still very confused." どういう「emotional」か、複雑過ぎて、言葉にできないんですと、言い返します。

〜〜〜〜〜〜

日本政府、日本の友達、日本人から貰ったものがたくさんありすぎて、なにかをして恩返しをしたい！こういう時期だからこそ手伝いたい！と強く思っています。

でも、どうやって。

お金を寄付する事と、お金を寄付する事と、お金を寄付する事以外、何ができるんですか！？なんでもやりますから！
誰か、教えてください！！！

(Also posted on mixi , facebook, ベスの世界)

How do you say 生ハム in English

2010-12-21T13:59:00.001+09:00

Honestly...
I've never had a taste of 生ハム in my own country because I didn't even think I know it existed until I came to Japan.
And, I found myself severely addicted to it.
While I was trying to explain my love for 生ハム to a friend, in English,

I realized one thing.

I don't know what it's called in English.

When I looked through the dictionary, it says it's called "uncured ham".
Anyway, I had to use whatever I found on the dictionary to get through
my conversation, but it felt so wrong...
Sooooooooooo wrong to use words ('uncured ham') that I had no idea what it meant
and that I've never seen before.

Ahahaha~ ^_^

I Love Uncured Ham.

hmmm............微妙

秋の留学生達の悩み事

2010-11-04T01:24:00.002+09:00

（同窓会で先輩や、後輩や、先生や、同級生たちに会っていろいろ話した。）

進路について実質的なアドバイスが欲しいなあ。わかってないのに、わかってるようにアドバイスをくれようとする人は、まじで、、、

やめていただいてもよろしいかね。

留学生の悩みはちょっと、やっぱり、日本国民のみなさんより多いと言ってないが、悩みは日本人学生と違うのが確かなんです。

一日があっても言い切れない悩み事がありますが、ここで簡単にまとめると、留学生には締切日があるということです。

締切日というのはビザの期限です。私の将来を決めるには、後1年間です。1年間だけ。ビザの手続きいろいろで、来年の１２月までに就職先か進学先が決まるようにならないといけない。

進学か？就職か？帰国か？わからないんです。

留学生たちは、秋になると、みんなはスランプの時期に入ります。みんなまったく一緒。焦らないわけがないんです。日本人の学生たちがなにかの不運で留年か就職できないことになっても、家があります。家族がいます。制限なくずっと日本に居られます。

私たち留学生は、なにかの目標を持ち、日本にきたんです。悲しい事に、政治や、就労制度や、日本の外交政策などで日本に居られなくなっちゃう留学生が大勢います。そういう制作がちょっと緩くなったら留学生たちの在日生活は確実に少し楽になれます。

「別に日本じゃなくても、国に帰ったら将来も見つかるでしょう」っていう人がいると思う。もちろん、日本でも、国でも、本当はどこでも、将来がありますよ。ただ、自分が望んでいることがそう簡単に叶えないって言っているだけです。

一言で、
就職でも、進学でも、留学生たちは日本人と競争していません。ただ時間と競争しているだけです。

日本で３年間。日本が私たちの二番目の家になるの。そう簡単に日本を去ることができるわけ？冬・夏休みで一時帰国したら、すごく違和感を感じたし。

帰国にしたら、日本にいる友達と別れ、そして、国に戻ってきたら友達がもう居なくなってるとか、音信不通になってるとか、友達が前と同じように付き合ってくれないという悩みが存在しています。

生活の文化もちがうし。３年間身につけた言葉（日本語）、文化、生活習慣、一旦国に帰ったら、一瞬慣れてこないです。一瞬って言えば、一日か、一ヶ月か、一年間または一生自分の国の生活になれてこない可能性があります。自分の知り合いで日本からシンガポールに戻ってきて数年間まだ全然自分の国の生活になれてこれなさそうです。

自分の将来が見えないんです。「見えない」じゃないわ。「見れない」です。
留学生だけじゃなくて、誰でも、人間だったら、自分がやりたいことがなにか「けち」なわけで思う通りにできないことは、あまりにも、つらすぎるんです。

ベスは逃げるもんだ

2010-11-04T00:34:00.002+09:00

｢決めた。土曜日に群馬県へ行ってくる。｣と言い出したら
｢ベス、もしかして、ストレスたまってる？｣とまいちゃんに聞かれた。

どうしてわかったかと尋ねたら、｢女の勘です｣、なんとなくわかったって答えてくれた。

やっぱり、、、わかっちゃう？

ベスはよく、悩みとかあるとき、逃げるの。今に居るところからちょっと離れた場所へ行く。気分転換に。つまり、ちょっと一人旅をするの。

まいちゃんはその自分を見透かしてるかも？

ストレスから一時的逃げても、旅の後ストレスはまだ全然消えてない上、さらに旅行で疲労になる。

週末は岐阜県･長野県･名古屋へ行ってきたし。月曜日には千葉県へRちゃんの家にいってきた（美味しいご飯もごちそうしてもらったし）。そして、昨日は学校終わってからちょっとクラスメートと食事。今日は同窓会が終わっても、なかなか帰宅したくなく、そのままカラオケや食事へ行ってきた。

なるべく、一人で居たくない。一人だったら、忙しいのがいい。

みんなといるのが楽しいし。一日でも、一時間だけでも、自分はリラックスできるようになるし。

でも、疲れちゃう。今のストレス解消方法があんまりよくないかも？

自分の進路に関するストレス、就職か、進学か、なかなか決められない。この悩み事は、恐らく、なにか結果が出てくるまで、このストレスは消えられないと思う。できれば、もっと良いストレス解消方法を知りたいですね。

Sumitomo Mitsui スミトモミツイ

2010-10-13T19:34:00.003+09:00

I was trying to get some Skype Credit by paying via bank transfer. Well, it was my first time paying for anything (except my house rent) via bank transfer.

And so, with the Payment Slip from issued by Skype in hand, I tried to transfer the money from my own bank to Skype's bank account.

It was to be done with the ATM, so, I went to the ATM, and the screen says something like,
"Insert the first (kana) letter of the name of the bank you want to transfer the money to"

So, I keyed in "Su", the first kana of the bank name. And....the ATM goes searching through the list and displays all the banks with names starting with "Su". I couldn't find the bank Skype allocated me to pay to!!

I tried about 5, 6 times, but to no avail. And before I realize it, there was a long line behind me, people waiting to use the ATM. And so, I had no choice but to give up and I thought to myself that I shall try again the next day.

I had absolutely no idea what happened back there. It is supposed to be absolutely fine to transfer to any bank from any ATM in Japan. Why didn't the name of the bank appear in the search list?? Did I do something wrong somewhere? Was the machine spoilt??
A thousand questions ran through my mind and I decided to ask Mai about it that very night.

Beth said "Umm...i can't transfer the money to Sumitomo Mitsui bank..."
and Mai didn't allow me to finish my sentence before she exclaimed,
"Sumitomo Mitsui?? You mean Mitsui Sumitomo, right?"

And i was like.......a huge rock just fell on my head, "WHAT THE HECK?!" was what I thought.

Ok, Skype's payment slip says (in English) "Pay to Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corporation". Not my mistake. Clearly.

According to Mai, there's no Sumitomo Mitsui in Japan, just "Mitsui Sumitomo"...so... what exactly was the problem here?

According to Japanese culture, surnames (last names) are written before first names. And every Japanese national has their "English" name written the other way around, with the Last name at the back and the first name in front, just like any other Western name.

And so......they decided to do that to a bank's name now?? That's the only plausible explanation I can get from this.

スカイプクレジットを購入するために、銀行振込で料金を払う事になった。

そして、昨日ATMで振込みをしようと思った。

銀行の名前の入力画面で、銀行の名前を仮名で入力して検索した。
何回も試したのに、その銀行の名前は出なかった。
５、６回やってみて、やっぱり、ないわ。銀行の名前、出てこなかった。
気づいたら、自分の後ろにはもう行列がすでにできていた。
仕方なかったから諦めて、翌日もう一回試しようと思って家に帰りました。

やり方がちがうか、自分がなにか勘違いしてるかと思って、詳しくマイちゃんに聞いてみました。

ベス：スミトモミツイ銀行に振り込む事ができなかった。。。

マイ：スミトモミツイ？みついすみともでしょう。

ベス：ああ！！？

請求書には、英語で
「Pay to Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corporation」
って書いてあったよ。

日本の銀行についてもわからない外国人のベスは、思いつかないでしょう、Sumitomo Mitsuiっていうのは、本当は三井住友だって、わからないよ。。。まったく。

まさか、銀行の名前でも、外国人の名前みたいに、「苗字」が後ろについてると思わなかったわ。。。

今日夕方、無事に振り込みできました。ちゃんと、ミツイ　スミトモ　に振り込みました。

絶対お箸に嫌われてる

2010-10-09T15:13:00.001+09:00

友人と食事。

フード来ました～～～

一口も食べてないのに、お箸を落とした。

店員さんを呼びました。
ベス：「すみません、、、お箸をください。」

お箸がうまく使用できず、５分後また落とした。

店員さんを呼びました。前と同じ方が来た。
ベス：「すみません、、、また、やってしまった。お箸をください」
友達：「このままじゃ、お箸の料金もとられちゃうよ」

今回はたぶん、５分も経ってなかった。
そこのお箸が私になんか恨みを持ってるかと思うくらい。。。
また、やっちまった。

さっきの店員さんがちょうど近くいて、
友達が声をかけた。

友達：「もう、この人お箸だめみたい。フォークをください。」

（爆）

４回は落とさないでしょう。。。。。。もう。。。

とにかく、

フォークでうどんを食べました。

Inspired, Inspire, and become an Inspiration

2010-09-25T14:32:00.006+09:00

I might actually be somebody important to somebody.

I realized it today. Now.

Unknowingly, i might actually have changed some people.
Changed their habits.
Changed their characters.
Or even,
changed their lives.

A friend approached me today, and expressed how thankful he was for having some conversation with him last week.
He told me he's going to start exploring. Exploring his country. Exploring the world. Exploring his own life. He might even quit his job for it.

Because of what i said, and because of what i told him i've experienced.

But...What did i say? What did i do? What have I experienced that seems so valuable to him?

"The people around you. The friends you make. Haven't you realize that they are mostly kind people?
That they are mostly people who have had certain achievements, any kind, in their lives?
It is you. They are your friends.
They can have many other friends. But hey lookie here, they are your friends.
You have made special friends. Because, you are a special friend to them too. A special person."

So, it could mean that, if you're an achiever, you make friends who are achievers. If you're kind, you make friends who are kind. If you're special, you make special friends.

Someone once told me this. Sadly, i can't even remember who it was...or when it was. I seriously thought he/she was just trying to make me feel happy, or just trying to make fun of me. But...could it be, true?

In my life, I have been inspired by a lot of people. Famous musicians, writers, teachers, friends, family, my parents, a lot of people. And i try to make it worthwhile to try to thank all these people, if i hadn't already thanked, I would try to in future. I will not forget to.

And today, I...was thanked. Somebody, is grateful to me, for something. Well, i mean, people do thank me for giving up my seat on a train, people thank me when i help to hold the door open at shopping malls.

But, this. It's different.

I might be......special, to someone. Anyone. Everyone.

All i have to do is, live my life, as per normal.

If I can do it, anyone else can. You can.

Change someone's life today. Change someone's life, now.

Best of luck to you. And me. ^_^ Start inspiring.

ベス、すごいかも

2010-09-25T13:54:00.001+09:00

なんか、今気づいたけど、

私。。。
ベスは、
すごいかもしれない。
今日、今、気づいた。

私の行動で、
活力となるような思想などを人の心に吹き込むことができるかも。

いや、すでに、しているかも。
てゆーか、もうしたかも。

へええぇぇ。。。
ベス、もしかして、すごいかも？
もっともっとすごい人間になって行きたい。

笑

今日は控えます

2010-09-23T02:03:00.001+09:00

最近不眠症がすごい。
ビール飲むと、体はリラックスできて、眠れる状態になる、、、なるはず。
けど、最近はビールに頼り過ぎたみたい。

最初は半分。
その後は、一缶。
その後は、一缶半。
今は、、、２缶飲んでも全然、効果なし。

アルコール依存症になったら大変だから、今日はがんばってお酒飲まずに寝るようにがんばる。明日もがんばってお酒飲まないで眠れるように、がんばる。明後日も。これからも。

日本に来る前に、病院で働いてたことでも、（日本での）留学の事でも頭がいっぱいで、すごいストレスがたまってた。

不眠症がすごかった。
頭が痺れるっていう変な病状も出たりした。

病院に行ったら、お医者さんに筋弛緩剤とか睡眠薬を大量にもらった、
毎日、毎晩、薬を飲まないと眠れなかった。

薬の服用は２、３ヶ月続いてた。

物忘れが激しくなった。
仕事にも、日常生活でやることほとんど全てにも集中できなかった。
人とあんまり話したくなくなった。
いろいろ。とにかく、生活は絶対に、薬を飲み始める前より大変だった。

副作用がすごかった。
やっぱり、薬は良くないなぁって思って、前みたいに生活できるために、だんだん、服用量を減らして、薬を飲まないで眠れるようになった。薬を飲まないで普通に生活できるようになった。

薬をやめる事ができるなら、お酒も、やめる事ができるでしょう。
いや、できると確信しています。

がんばります。

２時だ。まだ眠れない。けど、悪魔に負けません。
せめて、今晩は、負けません。

ベス！しっかりしろ！

2010-09-06T20:00:00.000+09:00

ほんとに、しっかりしろ！！毎日苦闘中です。

一時帰国して２週間前日本に戻ってきてから体調がずっと下り坂。
日本に着いた翌日自宅の階段で転んで、左足首が捻挫された。
ついでに、左足のいたみに気をつかってしまって、変な体勢で体を動かして、椎間板ヘルニアのせいで腰も、両膝もやられた。
歩けないほどいたくはないんだけど、、、階段とか、普通に歩いてても、いたいのは確実です。

日本に戻ってきたばかりで、この暑さに慣れてきてなかったからかな、１週間後軽微の熱中症にやられた。今はちゃんと水分とって、冷房もそんなに低い温度に下げてないから、いろいろに気をつけてもう二度と熱中症にはならないと思う。

なるべく歩かない方が良いって医者にわれてもさ、あのね、ぅちの学校、知っている？？
電車とかでポスターでばんばん広告されているし、八王子にあるカラオケ館を経営しているかわかんないけど、そっちに行ったら割引があるし、自分の学校は、、、超お金もちよ。

ということで、、、学校は、ものすごくひろいよ。もったいないと思うくらい広すぎ。歩くことは、不可欠です。
さらに、ぅちの学校ね、全然山に近くないよ。山の中にあるから。階段も、坂道も、数えられないの多さ。歩くだけではきついのに、階段を何回も上ったり降りたりしないといけない。

足首が治ったら、ひざやこしも、ついでに治るでしょう。
リハビリは週３、４回通ってる。リハビリでマッサージをやってくれるお兄さんかわいいよ。笑
（麻衣ちゃん無料でマッサージやってくれないし。ひどか。）
はやく治れ〜〜〜秋に岐阜へ遊びに行きたい。紅葉を見たい。

てゆーか、日本の医療費は安いよなぁ。たぶん、国だったら、こういう診察、リハビリ、薬などでは絶対に３、４倍より費用がかかるわ。
安いと言ってても、しっかりバイトしないとせいかつひは問題になるべ。

もう、今日も疲れたぁ。睡眠不足じゃないよ。今月の学校もまだまだ楽だよ、授業そんなに入っていないし。でも、家に着いたら、もう、ぜったい、眠い。
倍より時間かかって歩行すること。またけがしないように倍より集中力をつかってること。など。
これは、疲れるでしょう。

がんばれえぇ、ベス〜！しっかり〜！^_^

外人　vs　外国人

2010-07-14T14:13:00.003+09:00

親友のMさんと電話で話した。間違えってる日本語を使ってしまって、Mさんが訂正してくれました。ちなみに、Mさんは日本人です。

---------------

Beth:　ありがとう。でも！起きたばかり「外人」の日本語を訂正しないでくれる？？

Mさん：　「外国人」、「外国人」。。。どうして自分のことを「外人」と呼んでんの？？

（みたいな会話があった）
---------------

確かに、日本に来たばかりの時、外人外人って呼ばれると、ちょっと傷つく、怒ってもどうしようもなかった。だんだん、日本人の友だちができてて、別に差別の意思もなかったのに、「外人さん」とか、「外人」って呼ばれてる。いつの間に、私も納得できるようになってきた。

私自身や、知り合いや、友だちが体験したこと：

身分証に「エイリアン」って書かれているし。
関西に行ったら、「異人」って扱いされた。
ある店に行ったら、「てめ、外人！！」ってわけわからなくて店内のお客さんに叱られた。
「国に帰れ！」ってある機構のスタッフに言われたこともある。
黒人や外国人っぽく見える友だちと電車に乗ったら、他の乗客にじろじろ見られる。

これは「差別」と思わない。思いたくない。
これは、ただ、日本人は外国人のことを「特別」で、「ちがう」と思って、好奇心を持っているだけだと信じたい。

私と知り合っている日本人の友達は全員やさしくて、いつも手伝ってくれてるし。
日本人全員やさしいと信じている。

ただし、外国人の私は、なかなかわかることができないのは・・・なんだろう。なにがわからないのか、それも、わからないんです。

日本人の皆様、聞きたいことがあります。

-------------------------

「外人」って、日本人にとって、なんなんでしょうか。

　　また、

私たち、「外国人」って、日本人にとって、なんなんでしょうか。

-------------------------

時々、「外人」と呼ばれたら、おんなじ質問をその友だちに聞いてみた。
「外人っていう言葉の意味がわからないまま普及されているから」とかで答えてくれた人が何人もいました。それは・・・そういう答えは、なかなか納得できていません。だって、「外人」の意味がわからなかったら、そういう答えは出てこれないでしょう。

「日本では、自国民の障害者さえ変な目にあってる。僕達外国人に対してもっと優しくしてもらうのは、なかなか難しいことじゃないか。」ってイギリスの友だちが言った。

日本人のなかでも、日本人の「外人」がいるってことだ。

そして、外国人のなかに、「外人」じゃないのがいない。

わからないからわからないままで生きていこうっていう考えより、わからないから相手の考え、相手のことをわかることに努力して、相手の全てじゃなくても、せめて相手の存在を受け止めることが大事だと思う。

It's none of your business

2010-05-27T00:56:00.003+09:00

you know...i figured that we care more about how other people think about what we do, more than what other people do. So, isn't it a little ironic? Why do we even care about what we're doing, when no one else in this world is actually paying attention to what we're doing at all? *wink*

So...don't care what people say, don't care what people think, just do your thing.

Like it's no one else's business~ *double wink*

流れ星一つ

2010-05-25T00:12:00.001+09:00

いつだってあなたから
もらってばかりで
返せるモノが見つからない

溢れ出しそうな不安も包み込んで
支えてくれる
どうしてわたしの心見透かして
欲しい言葉をくれるの...

「流れ星一つ／作詞：霜月はるか」

Beth's Dogma 「～就寝前の禁物～編」

2010-05-23T00:12:00.000+09:00

１）ゲームをすること
２）パソコンを触ること

～目が覚まし、頭が活動し始めると止められないから。

３）水を飲むこと

～トイレ行きたくなるから。

４）日本語で話すこと
５）日本語の本・HP・漫画などを読むこと
６）日本語でなにかを書く（=.= 書いてるし・・・）

～頭を使いすぎて痛くなり、眠れなくなるから。

７）ギター・ピアノを弾くこと

～隣に住んでいるうざいおじさんが文句を言いに来てけんかしたら、いかりのあまり、眠れなくなる。

８）蟹料理の写真を見ること

～お腹すくから。

９）目覚まし時計をかけること

～朝、目覚まし時計が鳴ったら、時計を壊そうとする可能性が高いから。

１０）クーラー・暖房をつけること

～つけっぱだと、120％風邪ひくから。

おちこみたくない・・・本当に、

2010-05-12T21:52:00.001+09:00

おちこみたくない・・・おねがいだから、だれか、たすけテ。
おちこみたくないから。

今日は、一言で、すごかった。
いいことも、わるいことも、半日の１２時間以内けっこうたくさんあった。
すごいわらったときもあったし、ないたときもあった。
バランスがとりにくかった。
いいことがあったといっても、結局、家に帰ったら、ひとりでいるとき、げんきがぜんぜんだせない。たのしくすごしているふりをしていたかしら？

とにかく、すごいつかれている。

このままいちにちをおわらせよう～またあした、なにかいいことがおこるとねがっています。
じゃないと、ベスそろそろおわります。そう気がする。

ニッポン語がキラー

2010-05-11T11:46:00.001+09:00

教科書に長いカタカナが多い。
先生のスピードが速い。
企画書の内容がわかりにくい。
歌詞に読めない漢字が多い。
ぅちの日本語能力がいかに不足か１００％実感しています。

対策：毎日予習、毎日復習、日本語の勉強、授業を録音する（提案してくれた友達、ありがとう）

黒・白：相互依存

2010-05-03T23:21:00.005+09:00

人間は助け合って生きてきたの。
悪人が居るから、正義を守る人が要る。
落ち込む時は誰かに励まされる。
困難に陥った時には誰かと相談して一緒に問題を解決する。

時々は、他人に頼ってもいいの。一人でがんばらなくてもいいの。

それを教えてくれた方、ありがとう。

この世の中、黒と白にはバランスが必要。
邪悪がないと、正義は見えない。
落ち込まないと友だちの優しさを知ることができない。
困難に陥らなかったら誰が一番助けになるかを知ることができない。

黒が存在する時、白はかならず同時に存在している。
自分が相手の黒さが見えていると思う時、相手は同時に自分の白さを見つけている。

黒と白の持ちつ持たれつの関係。見えていませんか。

なんとなくわかった・・・かも～

2010-04-30T00:59:00.001+09:00

この世の中に、優しい人もいれば、悪人もたくさんいるの。みんながいい人なわけじゃないんだ。

だまされてから、いまさらわかるの。っち～ばか。

でも、人間は元々いい人だと信じています。みんなもともと優しいの。きっと。
だから、最初から人を疑うことはしない。
だから、だまされたかな。
だから、やはり、ぅちは・・・ばかなの？

ん・・・考えさせられるね。考えすぎ？
もう～～わからなくなってきた。笑

まあ、だまされてたことをはやく気づいたんでひがいを受けてなかったけど、ちょっとあぶなかった。しょうじきに、こわかったけど、さいわいなことに、はやくきづいたからぶじです。

悲観主義者へ

2010-04-25T23:19:00.006+09:00

英語から直訳したんだけど、

「消極的な考えをするというのは、ただ自分に罪悪感を与え、もうやってしまったことから逃げているだけです。」

とベスより６才年下の弟が言いました。

別にベスに言っているわけでもないけど、すごく考えさせられた。
愛しい弟よ・・・素敵な言葉くれてありがとう。

「私は明日については少し悲観主義者であさってについては楽観主義者である。」
～エリック・セヴァライド～

"I'm sort of a pessimist about tomorrow and an optimist about the day after tomorrow."
- by Eric Sevareid

（明日から３日間学校のみんなで河口湖へ。正直に言うと、楽しみにしていません。それに、こわがっています。今は悲観的な考えしか持っていません。が、弟の「金言」は・・・なにか｛何かまだわからないんですが｝のレファレンスになってるんじゃないかと思っています。）

まったく・・・

2010-04-21T20:49:00.002+09:00

ブログ　ニ　カク　ヨリ　、　ジブン　ノ　フェースブック　ページ　ニ　カク　ヨリ　、　フタリ　デ　ツキアワセテ　イッカイ　ケンカ　シテ、　コノ　ムダ　ナ　センソウ　ヲ　オワラセテホシイ。　バカ　ナ　コト　ツヅケル　ノ　ハ　ホカ　ノ　トモダチ　ヲ　クルシメル　ダケ　ダ。　fuck.　カタカナ　ナラ、インターネット　デ　ホンヤク　デキナイ　デショウ。　ヨシ～

明らかに、私はバカだった。

2010-04-20T00:48:00.000+09:00

かなしい。
うっとうしい。
信じられなかった。
私たちの関係、私たちの友情を大切に守っていたのは、私、ひとり、だったのか。
一生懸命この関係を救おうとしたのに、ダメだった。
しかも、かのじょたちはどう考えてたかはっきりわかった。
自分が、あきらかに、バカだったことも、同時にわかった。
ゼッコウしたいなら、かってにしなさい。どうぞ。
もうベスと関係ありません。ピース。

そっかな・・・

2010-04-15T23:00:00.001+09:00

自分にきびしすぎって言われたんだ・・・>.<
それほんとかな。
ちょっと自分を甘えるか。どうやって。

ストレス解消方法と言ったら・・・=D
ポテトいっぱい食べよっ～　
ジュピター歌おっ～（いつかかならずマスターするぞ）
Dumboちゃん、チョコボちゃんと遊ぼっ～

この気持ちさ・・・

2010-04-13T21:07:00.001+09:00

今学校に行くことにたいしての恐怖感、この数日間の気持ち・・・
なんか、経験したことあるような、ないような。

まさか・・・その時の。その時と同じ気持ち。

４歳の時の気持ちとまったく同じ。

まさか・・・トラウマか。

细水长流

2010-03-31T22:14:00.005+09:00

31 March 2010. Friends leave Tokyo to pursue their dreams, and to carry on with their lives. And, I would begin to lead a new life as I will be staying alone in my new apartment. No more dormitory, no more dorm mates.
A Chinese saying goes "there is not one banquet that does not come to an end", similar to "All good things come to an end", i guess.

今日３月３１。友だちとお別れの日。帰国する友だちもいれば、地方や海外の大学に進学する友達もいる。これからは一人暮らし。どうなるかな。
中国語のことわざ：「楽しいこともいつかは必ず終わる」って。まったくその通りだね。

今天3月31。许多好朋友都回国了。不是回国就是到东京外的大学去了。此日，我也开始一个人生活。
话说：天下无不散之筵席
联想起了这首歌。

细水长流

年少时候谁没有梦
无意之中你将心愿透露
就在你生日的时候我将小小口琴送
最难忘记你的笑容

友情的细水慢慢流流进了你我的心中
曾在球场边为你欢呼你跌伤我背负
夜里流星飞渡想象着他日的路途
晚风听着我们壮志无数

年少时候谁没有愁
满腔愤慨唯有你能听得懂
每当我失意的时候你将那首歌吹奏
琴声悠悠解我情愁

岁月的细水慢慢流流到了别离的时候
轻拍你的肩听我说朋友不要太惆怅
霓虹纵然再嚣张我们的步履有方向
成败不论切莫将昔日遗忘

多年以后又再相逢
我们都有了疲倦的笑容
问一声我的朋友何时再为我吹奏
是否依旧是否依旧
岁月的细水慢慢流流到了别离的时候
轻拍你的肩听我说朋友不要太惆怅
霓虹纵然再嚣张我们的步履有方向
成败不论切莫将昔日遗忘
多年以后又再相逢
我们都有了疲倦的笑容
问一声我的朋友何时再为我吹奏
是否依旧是否依旧
人生的际遇千百种但有知心长相重
人愿长久水愿长流年少时候

ごめん

2010-03-01T23:03:00.001+09:00

友だち同士がケンカをしているところを見るとこころがいたむ。
全力助けたくてもどうしようもない。
もし自分が国にいれば、かならずなにかができる。
もし自分が国にいれば、もっと近くから友だちを支えることができる。
もし自分が国にいれば、こんな状況にはならなかったかもしれない。

もともとは友だちその二人のケンカ、その二人だけの問題なのに、ベスはなんでいつも自分をせめるのだろう。自分のせいじゃないということをよく知っているのに。自分はわるくないと何度も自分に言っているのに。でも、やっぱり、こんな状況になって、ベスは少しでも、責任をとらないといけないとおもう。でも、どうやって。

時間を置こうと思ってたけど、時間を置けば、それは「しばらく無視する」と言うことで、しばらく無視すれば、これからも無視することができるでしょう。ベスはまず自分を助けたい。ベスの頭、今はもういっぱいで、自分に直接関わらないことでストレスをたまりたくない。今回だけ、わがままでいてもいいですか。
ちかくにいられなくて。ごめん。
なにもできなくて。ごめん。
私はもう、これ以上、なにもしたくないから。ごめん。
人事を尽くし天命を待つ。

ベスのいとしいともだちよ、ブログを読んでくれても、にほんごがわからないでしょう。
今度話したら、ベスはちゃんとあやまるから、もうちょっとまっててください。

最高の誕生日プレゼント

2010-02-02T21:06:00.004+09:00

今日は旧暦による、私の誕生日だ。始めて家族と一緒に過ごせない誕生日はどうなるかちょっと不安だった。
Lunar birthday today, and I was feeling a little uneasy about spending my first birthday away from home, away from my family.
今天农历生日。第一次没和家人一起过生日，之前感觉有点不安。

でも・・・今朝起きて、神様から最高の誕生日プレゼントをいただきました。
But, i woke up with a pleasant surprise from the heavens.
不过，几天一大清早起身，得到了我一生中最漂亮的生日礼物。

雪。
Snow.
雪景。

（家まで駅までへの道）－　今日は徒歩３０分
Woke up a little earlier than usual so that i can take a 30-min walk to the station.
今天早点起身，为了慢慢散步到车站。

第一封家书

2010-01-25T17:49:00.003+09:00

原文：ベスの世界　（家からはじめての手紙）

家からバースデーカードと手紙が届いた。日本にいるこの一年間はじめて親から手紙をもらった。いや。ベスが生きている２１年間、親からはじめての手紙だ。

ベスが来日前になかなか言えなかった言葉、おかあちゃんは全て手紙に書いてた。
すごく感動でした。手紙を読みながら、嬉し涙が流れずにはいられなかった。

うれしい。さびしい。３月に親が来日することをすごく楽しみにしている。

手紙を読んで初めて、ベスはなかなか親の気持ちを理解することができなかったことを今明らかにわかった。わがままで国を去った。わがままで親の気持ちをわからずに日本へ来た。

この手紙が届かなければ、ベスはそのまま自己中心的に日本で毎日を暮らす。
自分の夢のため。自分の成功のため。自分がいつか出生できるため。

いったい、いつ・・・親孝行ができるのだろう・・・

~~~~~~~~~~~~

原文：彤彤的世界

我收到了爸妈寄给我的生日卡咯！！
谢谢！！！=D
里面还包括了妈咪写的一封信给我！好感动~好高兴~
永远爱着您们~~~

幸せの証拠

2010-01-24T19:11:00.003+09:00

（原文：ベスの世界）

春と言えば、新しい始まり・・・
かな？
確かに、新学年で新しい生活が始まると思うけど、
今まで一緒にいた友だちはみんなどっかへ行っちゃう。

友人や家族に会い、短時間一緒にいて、そして別れること。
それはこの６週間の間にずっと繰り返してて、一言で言うと「疲れた」です。
精神的に。肉体的にも少し。

昨日は楽しかった。仲間と普通に会って、カラオケに行って、ご飯食べて・・・
その最中、みんなは３月に行う予定の送別会について相談した。
もうすぐいつも通りに会えない、遊べない。それを思いつくだけで切ない気持ちが心から溢れる。

最近は「ベス寂しいがりだね」ってよく友だちに言われた。
正直に、最近は激しく寂しさを感じているから、夜遅くまで友だちと遊んだり、家に帰りたくなくなったりしている。

一人でいたくない。

今の学校を卒業して新しい大学や専門学校に進学する人は新しい学校に入学する。東京の学校に行く友達もいれば、地方の学校に行く人もいる。同じ日本なのに、もうすぐいつも通りに会えなくなる。

それより、帰国する友だちは何人もいる。まあ、シンガポールなら実家だし、インドネシア、台湾、中国なら簡単にいけるし、いつでも会える気持ちで癒される。アフリカ大陸、アメリカ大陸、ヨーロッパ、オセアニアの国に行く人、そう簡単には会いに行けないでしょう。世界は狭くなっているといっても、インターネットで友人や家族といつでも繋がっているといっても・・・やっぱり、なんかちがうなあ。

日本に来て、みんなに出会って、お別れの日はいつか来ると心の底ではよくわかっていたが、なかなか納得できない。シンガポールではシンガポール人ばっかりと友だちに成っていた。が、日本に来ると、日本語学校で世界のいわゆるの国から来ている人に出会った。その人たちと別れたら、またいつ会えるかはっきりとは言えない。日本人の友だちもいっぱいつくった。ベスはずっと日本にいるとも言えない。

「最初から友だちをこんなにいっぱいつくらなければよかったのになあ」と言う思いを持っていること。

それは幸せの証拠だと思う。
だって、たくさんの友だちに囲まれていることほど嬉しいことはないと思うから。

Realization

2010-01-22T16:59:00.002+09:00

The past two days can be summed up with one word: fatigue.
But it was fatigue for good fun. and fatigue psychologically, i guess. After years of waiting (literally), I finally got to meet up, in real life, with a close friend, whom I have not failed to communicate with every single day of my life through electronic means. Although it was kinda tiring travelling around and staying up late,

We met two days ago at Tokyo Disneyland. I was still wondering what on earth I should say when we first meet. Do I have to say the conventional "はじめまして" (hajimemashite) which everyone says when they meet someone for the first time?

My pondering was short-lived.
Our eyes met.

まい：ちっちゃい！！(chicchai!! aka puny!!)
Me：。。。 *speechless*

Beth then came to a realization.
I.....am really......THAT...puny.
And i didn't even have to say anything like "pleased to meet you" or "hello" or anything. Common sense told me to respond with "ちがうよ！！！"(chigau yo!!! aka That's not true!!!), which was followed with continuous offensive exclamations from Mai that I am "short" or just simply..."small".

But honestly, I SWEAR it was because she was wearing high-heels......

After sending Mai off (to New Zealand) at Narita Airport last evening, Beth has been hit with sudden loneliness. And, surprisingly...homesickness, as well.

As she took it all out and said, "行きたくない。"(ikitakunai aka I don't wanna go.)to me, I was kinda jealous she could actually say it out to someone at the airport just minutes before she flew off. And, I would never never EVER say, "If you don't wanna go, just stay." I would say something equivalent to "You'll be fine. Don't give up!" or something of the sort.

*Homesickness & Loneliness*
I cannot help but admit that somewhere at the bottom of my heart, I wouldn't want to leave for Japan (Apr 2008 & Jan 2010). However, if I were to say "I don't wanna go...", to someone, anyone, who sent me off at Changi Airport when I was about to fly off to Tokyo, I am just so afraid that someone (especially my parents) might say

"You don't have to go if you don't want to. *with smileys*"

THAT, instead of some encouraging words, would certainly be the LAST thing i'll ever want to hear as I make my way towards the departure gates. My dear friends currently away from home and studying or working overseas...it is true, am i not right??

「進路を決めましたか？」

2009-11-30T23:43:00.001+09:00

先週は来年の学校のスタッフに「進路を決めましたか？」と聞かれた。

まあ、もちろん、来年はどの学校に入るかとはもう決まっているが、スタッフは専門学校を卒業してから、何をするつもりかと質問しているのだ。

正直に、今まではなんとなく進路について考えたことがあるけど、質問されたのは初めてで、一応ベスは「できれば、日本で就職したいけど、大学に入るのも希望している」と答えた。

でもさ・・・音楽って、音大はあるけど、それはクラシカル系だから、ベスが勉強したいのと　ちょっと　・・・いや、　まったく　違うんでしょう。進学のはやはり、やめたほうがいいかな。てーか、日本の大学って４年制だよね。７年間日本で勉強するのがちょっと想像できないかな。卒業する時にはもう２７？２８？ちょっとむりかな。

というが、日本で就職できるかな～

ちなみに、音楽ではシンガポールでは絶対どんな前途も見えない。音楽なら、シンガポールでなければ、海外はどこでもシンガポールより発達してるとは否めない事実である。学んだ日本語を活用したいなら、就職はいちおう日本が一番チョイスでしょう。

将来が見えない・・・まあ～一応、専門学校に入ってから考えよう。

IVF Boom

2009-11-07T11:06:00.003+09:00

Through debates in high school, through ethical lectures in college, and now even a whole topic on it on my Japanese Language textbook, it just goes to show how the world perceives the subject of human cloning and related technology, like IVF and etc, as something interesting, if not, something which is more disadvantageous than beneficial.

Everyone talks about ethics, human emotions, the superb technology with different viewpoints from all directions.

IMO, anything that deals with the creation of human life by a human life through superficial and artificial means just doesn't seem right. NOT because of religion. NOT because of ethics. BUT, simply because......there's a flaw with the TECHNOLOGY itself! The whole balance of the world, of the human race is at stake.

Let's just state for example, a sterile couple undergoes IVF in order to get a baby. The baby is also at a high risk of being sterile, and when he/she grows up, has to make use of IVF in order to get a baby of his/her own. That baby's baby may also grow up to be infertile. It's just a vicious circle which knows no end. The whole human population would one day, be totally dependent on IVF and maybe in the near future, some technology which is more advanced. And eventually, a day might come when human cloning no longer seem incorrect in any form.

If no limitations are made on the free usage of IVF and other similar technologies, it is absolutely safe for me to say that the human race has to brace itself for a IVF boom. Sure, good thing for the medical industry. Loads of money flooding in. Humans would have claimed to have been successful in conquering the way of nature.

And, all at the risk of disrupting the balance of human life on Earth.

ラッキーと思わない？

2009-10-31T15:47:00.011+09:00

「日本・・・寒い・・・いやだ・・・」
「What?何言ってる？日本いい国だよ！（笑）Don't you think you are very lucky to be in Japan?」
「ん・・・。」

友人の冗談の質問に真剣に考えさせられた。
実は、「日本にいられるって本当によかったね。」と何度も自分の頭に繰り返して考えてたが、今日は新宿行きの電車に乗っていた間、友だちの質問を思い出し、電車の外側を眺めながら、その質問の答えを尋ね求めた。

「本当にラッキーかな？」
「ここは本当に自分の国よりいいの？」
「何がいいの？」
「自分の国にはない物が日本にあるの？」
「日本にあるものは自分の国では見つけられないの？」

ひとつの質問に次の質問が生じ、質問だらけで、相模大野から新宿まで５０分かかったのに、答えは

なかなか、なかった。

「なんて難しい質問だなあ」と、電車を降りて、駅を出て、

日差しが眩しかった。

どこにいても、太陽は同じ。人間は同じ。私は同じ。

ただ、

心が一つ。

心のいる場は一つしかない。そこはやはり、家だ。

お金のない危機感

2009-10-17T21:35:00.001+09:00

最近バイト始めた。毎週ほぼ毎日もバイトの予定が入ってる。
自分の身体が病気がちなので、長時間立ちっぱなしとか、体力が必要な仕事は自分に合わないって知っているから、バイトは英語教師に決まった。

でも、バイト、今、始めたのは早すぎるかしら？

１２月にある日本語能力試験で１級を受けることにした。合格できるには自信が全然ない。
ストレスはたまってる。バイトしなくても勉強する時間はもう限ってるのに、バイトを始めた。

なぜかというと、私はお金がないことに緊張感を持っているからだ。
最近いろいろでお金の使いすぎ、来年引越しや新学期の費用でお金は貯めないといけない。
一応国費留学生なんだけど、毎月もらっている生活費はぎりぎり生活が維持できるけれど、急にお金を使う必要があるなら、現在持っているお金は絶対に不足だ。

一人暮らし、しかも、海外で一人暮らし・・・
自分の国と家にいるの良さはやっと・・・
わかるようになった。

Busy eating good stuff...

2009-07-21T18:01:00.003+09:00

Recently, i think i've been busy eating good stuff...LOL!

The university girls from my school's free-talk session brought me to this dessert shop near Nishi-Shinjuku and decided that they'd treat me to that Red-bean uhh...puff? bun? with fresh cream inside. It was interestingly combined with the ever-so-bitter maccha (green tea) that Japanese drink during tea ceremony. The tea doesn't taste bitter, which i first feared, after eating the red-bean "pie" because it's sweet. =D

Then, last Saturday, we decided to go all the way to Chiba (Tsudanuma) to meet up with Ricchan and her lovely boyfriend(?fiance? lolx), Takumi, who took us for a drive, treated us to pasta, then brought us to a beach with water dyed in an amazingly disgusting brown colour.....The water is clean though, just that the colour is uhh...yucky~ >_<

Then, we headed over to her "house", don't ask me why i quoted her "house"...just that...oh well...we went over to her father's property to have dinner. Apparently, Ricchan's dad ordered the most expensive sushi he could find on the menu as a treat.
That whole set cost around ten thousand yen, if i'm not wrong. It's all good stuff...uhh..not GOOD...it's all PREMIUM STUFF!! Walk into a normal sushi shop and you'd have to eat ONE piece of those at around 300 yen.

Oh boy...how do i seem, eating to my fill for the past week...HAHA~

The "weirdo" season on the train begins...

2009-06-16T17:58:00.002+09:00

Summer...in Japan...

As summer comes, girls' clothing naturally become thinner and ... less. That's when the amount of gropers on the trains increase. Even if a girl's arse doesn't get groped, some guy may have a secret camera hidden somewhere and may take a picture from underneath a girl's skirt.

"Beer Garden" sessions also increase in summer. There will be lots of drunkards on trains and train platforms, naturally. Some drunkard might "accidentally" push someone onto a train track. Or, in my case, some old drunk man approached me on the train yesterday and started talking about the sky, the clouds, my shoes and his age......If he didn't get off at the next station, i would have gotten off.

The number of weird people increases during this season......Heat does strange things to people, huh?

Tokyo from the Top

2009-06-12T21:24:00.003+09:00

Since the weather was so good, I went to the Tokyo Metropolitan Office Building Tower to get a view of Tokyo from the top.

粽！

2009-06-02T17:33:00.001+09:00

中国人のクラスメートから粽をもらいました！！すごくおいしくて。。。なつかしいなあ～って思って、ありがとうね！トウインさん！笑

端午节已过了。不过~班上的中国同学今早送了一个粽子给我！哈哈！我不必到中华街去花十几块钱买粽子吃~
谢谢トウイン同学!

DAD! MUM! DEAL WITH IT!!

2009-05-24T02:03:00.005+09:00

GEEZ~ I AM GOING TO STAY IN JAPAN FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS. DEAL WITH IT! HERE I AM, TRYING FREAKING HARD TO ACCUSTOM MYSELF TO LIFE HERE, MAKE MYSELF EXCEL IN WHATEVER I AM DOING, TRYING TO THINK OF NEW WAYS TO MAKE THINGS EASIER! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE HOMESICK......AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE HOMESICK!

MAKE YOURSELF UNDERSTAND DAMMIT! LOVE DOESN'T CHANGE OVERNIGHT! EVEN IF I DON'T SAY I AM HOMESICK, IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM NOT!!

HERE I AM TRYING TO BE STRONG, OR AT LEAST APPEAR STRONG, YOU'D EXPECT ME TO SHOW EVERY SINGLE SIGN OF WEAKNESS JUST SO I CAN DO WHAT? WORRY SOMEONE?!

I AM BUSY. OR AT LEAST, KEEPING MYSELF BUSY! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY FREE TIME TO THINK ABOUT STUPID THINGS LIKE "I MISS HOME..."

BEING HOMESICK IS SOMETHING THAT IS PERSISTENT FOR LIKE 24 HOURS A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, 365 DAYS A YEAR! THIS! DOES! NOT! CHANGE!!! I DON'T HAVE TO SAY THIS! DO I?!!

I AM MAKING MYSELF STRONGER DAY BY DAY! I AM MORE DEPENDENT ON MYSELF DAY BY DAY!

DAD! MUM! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD SEEK YOUR OWN ADVICE! SAYING I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS?? WHAT SHIT IS THIS?! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS AT ALL!!!! YOU ARE....AT H-O-M-E~~~ YOU CAN FIND SUPPORT AMONG YOUR OWN FAMILY OR FRIENDS! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ME A THOUSAND MILES AWAY! GOSH!! WHAT CAN I DO!? NOTHING!

EVERYTIME YOU TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU CAN'T GET USED TO ME NOT BEING AT HOME, YOU JUST SHOW HOW WEAK YOU ARE! AND YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD????!!!!!! YOU JUST MAKE ME~!! MAKE M-E ME FEEL TERRIBLE! MAKING YOUR DAUGHTER WHO'S OVERSEAS ALONE FEEL LIKE THAT, IT'S THE WORST THING YOU CAN EVER DO!

I AM MAKING EVERY EFFORT TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I AM HAVING NO PROBLEMS GETTING USED TO LIFE HERE, AND THAT EVERYTHING'S FINE...BUT, YOU ARE NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF GET USED TO YOUR LIFE BACK HOME AT ALL!!!

ALL I'M ASKING! IS FOR YOU GUYS TO GROW STRONGER! GET SUPPORT FROM YOUR FAMILY! YOUR BROTHERS, YOUR SISTERS, YOUR FRIENDS! OR BEST! MAKE YOURSELF STRONGER BY YOURSELF! AND DON'T TRY NOT TO CAUSE INCONVENIENCE TO ANYONE ELSE! GET USED TO IT! DEAL WITH IT! I AM STAYING PUT HERE FOR A LONG TIME! AND NOTHING'S GOING TO CHANGE THIS FACT!

(i held on to the SHIFT key tightly throughout this whole rant. i am not angry. i am just frustrated at how i'm trying so damn hard to be stronger, but my parents are just not trying to improve things on their own side. sorry for the rant.)

it's summer....

2009-05-11T18:47:00.002+09:00

Japan is getting hot......and it will reach peak temperatures in June and July, i guess. The school students are all changing into their summer uniforms today, because it's like just...so warm nowadays.

I've been just too busy to update my blog. There are quizzes and tests everyday at school. Most of the time, it's just go to school, take quizzes, have lessons, come home, make dinner and tomorrow's lunch (bento) to bring to school, study, do homework, then sleep. There is literally no space for a little time for myself on weekdays.

There was a lunch reception for Singaporeans when President SR Nathan came to visit Japan yesterday. we had great food, SINGAPOREAN food. lol.

Fried Pork with green pepper, that was my dinner last night. And the cheapest dumplings i can find in town. They cost like 198yen with 30 in a pack!That's the curry i made tonight. Curry squid with pork, tomatoes, green pepper. It actually tastes good, unexpectedly.

Some nice pictures taken so far~

2009-04-25T14:20:00.000+09:00

Electricity and Water don't mix

2009-04-25T01:00:00.003+09:00

Electricity + water = disaster

it was 8:30pm at night. temperature is as low as 11 deg celsius.

Well...I wanted to pay my electrical bill for the month. So, i asked senpai to go along with me because i've no idea how to pay a bill at a convenience store. And so, i slipped the bill into my bag and got on the bicycle.

Then, on the way to our destination, i realized it was drizzling...then, big drops started falling...then, it turned into a shower.

And so, we reached 7-Eleven after about 5 mins in the rain. And as i reach to get my bill from my bag, it wasn't there! (I dropped it somewhere)

So...senpai and I had to walk our way back the way we came, in the rain and in the dark. We found it about halfway back.

And so...we took a drenched electricity bill to the store clerk at 7-Eleven, and she was really cute (funny) when i saw her face as she said "Arigatou gozaimasu" while we were leaving the store. Lol~ I wonder if she's gonna hang my bill out to dry.

Thank goodness a senpai was there to help me out. I'm grateful~ I just pray i don't fall sick from the rain. I'm having a headache, but maybe it's because i'm just sleepy. I shall sleep.

Fried mutton and vege!!

2009-04-23T19:53:00.001+09:00

这是清炒羊肉和菜。我只用了盐，没加其他调味料。不过，都很好吃！鲜甜可口。可见这里的东西都多么新鲜和富高质量。这菜到底叫什么名我根本不知道，日文念为“他菜”。要不是他以99元出售，我看我是不会买的。今天的晚餐还有一些类似小笼包的水饺。在超市试吃的时候觉得很好吃就把它买了下来。

My dinner just consists of some fried mutton and vegetables which i have no idea what it is...i didn't use anything except salt! And stuff just tastes great and fresh~ I'm really liking it here. Got some dumplings too~ The samples at the supermarket tasted really good, so i bought them. =D

Karaoke is cheap

2009-04-22T00:02:00.002+09:00

850 plus yen for 3 hours of karaoke and free flow drinks for 1 person each! I didn't think i could find such a deal in Tokyo! Well...it isn't supposed to be so cheap if we went to the normal karaoke lounges. You would think the Japanese don't have Chinese songs...but boy~ How wrong was I~! They have a whole large bank of English, Chinese, Japanese and Korean songs...(I even found Singaporean songs haha!)

Compared to any other place i've been to in Singapore...it is waaaaay more high-tech, waaaaaaaaay less fault-free, the service is waaaaaaay better, there are waaaaaaaaaay more songs...and this is just a small karaoke lounge opened by some person...i wonder how the larger ones are like. For about the same price I'm paying, i'm not getting the same kind of service back in Singapore, LOL~! Nor anywhere else, i'm sure. The only bad thing is...the rooms reeks of cigarette smell left behind by previous customers.

Well...then we went to have dinner at a what they call an "izakaya", where customers usually order finger foods and drink... it costs twice as much as our karaoke session *_* Food is luxury...lol. And as usual, this place also reeks of cigarette smell. But this time, we were actively taking in second-hand smoke, because smoking IS allowed.

Shinjuku Imperial Garden

2009-04-18T19:44:00.001+09:00

There was a school excursion to Shinjuku Imperial garden which was about 15 mins walk away from school.
Some teachers and classmates~

These are some of my classmates

煮。吃。

2009-04-17T21:39:00.001+09:00

这是今晚的晚餐~！

最近，我每天都在下厨。快熟面也好，乌冬也好，煎蛋也好，煮汤也好，炒菜也好，香肠面包也好，总而言之，最近三餐都不在外面解决。一切都由自己准备。我也渐渐开始喜欢下厨了耶~哈哈！好吃的好吃，不好吃也得吃，自己做的料理由自己调味，照着自己的食量准备，不必多问也不必多考虑。三餐温饱就行了。

不过，我倒还没煮过难吃的料理耶。。。哈哈！也许我还有些烹饪的潜能吧！要不是现在自己一个人生活，我看我是不会自动去下厨煮菜吧~

DINNER TIME!

2009-04-16T20:24:00.003+09:00

I ACTUALLY COOKE RICE WITH A POT!!! haha~ unbelievable...and it wasn't burnt!
Bought some mushies from Sanwa and stir fried it with oyster sauce, and did up the best dish i'm best at, Tomato Eggs...(the only dish i can make...)

IT TASTES OK!! ok? I CAN COOK! ...a little...

This is my lunch for tomorrow's school~ Bento at school is too expensive.

10 Days In Japan

2009-04-13T13:23:00.002+09:00

Whoa...it's actually been 10 days since I arrived in Japan~ It has been ONE HELL OF A 10 DAYS here...

Culture shock, touring Tokyo with my family, meeting new people, making new friends, doing new things, eating new food, encountering new stuff, experiencing new experiences...etc...

I have been so busy with all this, above of administration and immigration procedures, i think i've only managed to START to settle down only today. Real school will probably start the day after tomorrow.

It's hard to put in words what i'm experiencing. It's all so overwhelming and there are so many things I want to talk about but it all comes as a gigantic wave and renders me speechless.

Honestly...apart from squeezing with people on the morning rush hour train, everything else seems perfect here. In fact, too perfect. People abide by laws and follow strictly to their very own unwritten rules...

I am looking forward to starting school, and meeting the people i've promised to meet when i come to Japan. It will be busy...for the time being.

向梦想起飞！

2009-04-01T10:54:00.001+09:00

4月1日愚人节！！今年的4月1日不一样了。不开玩笑，而是很认真地，踏上我人生中的一个新旅程。
我将会朝向我的目标迈进。虽然有百般的不舍，不过，为了无限光芒的前途，为了实现自己多年以来的梦想，我会带着坚忍不拔的精神勇往直前！

彤彤，向梦想起飞咯！！

My dream takes flight...

2009-03-31T18:49:00.002+09:00

1st April 2009, this will be the day I embark on my new journey to a new life (literally), and towards a goal that is so far but seemingly reachable...

Farewell, yesterday. Welcome, tomorrow~

I have gotten this scholarship with purpose, and I will continue to move on forward with purpose. Some people think that my dream is to "study music in Japan"...but... that's not exactly right, lol.

My dream, is reachable by "studying music in Japan". I have not fulfilled my dream, yet. My wish has not come true, yet. However, I am slowly and steadily building a path towards my target...it will be achievable, by studying what i want in Japan. I hope.

Tomorrow night, my flight to Tokyo.
Tomorrow night, my dream takes flight.

I got 3000 ang pow money!!!

2009-03-26T13:30:00.005+09:00

3000yen...sounds like a lot? Go check the exchange rate if you want. woo~!
HAHA! Ok, it's the thought that counts...went to Jack's Place (West Coast Recreation Centre) for dinner with Rena, Jin Ling and Marie yesterday and ate so much till I was unpleasantly bloated.

Rena and Co. gave me a 3000-yen worth of ang pow money (in tha red envelope). Rena also wrote me a nice letter on Japanese calligraphy paper, and folded it nicely into card size, makes it easy for me to bring it over to Japan with me. lol.

And one disgusting thing!! MARIE ZHENG GAVE ME MR HAPPY!!! @_@ OK! This Mr Happy was forced on Rena's journey to New Zealand, and god knows what Marie did to Mr Happy before it even went to New Zealand... eeeeew! Ok. This Mr Happy would have travelled to New Zealand and Japan in time to come. But, heyz, i'm not returning Mr Happy to you any time soon, Marie! It'll have to bear rain or shine with me in Japan for at least 3 years. Accompanying Mr Happy is also a letter written by Marie (on yellow paper). Since the letter also fits into the "ang pow", i guess i'll just bring it along with me to Japan.

Thanks girls!! Love ya all! And will miss ya all! xxoxoxoxoxx

(I'm looking at the pile of soft toys i'll be bringing over to Japan with me......)

17kg and increasing...

2009-03-25T19:17:00.002+09:00

I finally got to start packing my luggage seriously yesterday...
the initial weight is 17kg.

I haven't put in my books.
I haven't put in Cadbury Moo Moo.
I haven't put in the bags i need to bring over.
I haven't put in my shoes.

Whoa...Even if i don't surpass the baggage weight limit, how am i supposed to be able to carry that thing??

I also intend to carry a bag on my back. That bag will consist of my game consoles, my laptop, portable hard disks, important documents, my valuables and jacket.

hmmm......i need to put some stuff in my dad's or uncle's luggage, so as to distribute the weight.

つかれてます

2009-03-24T01:11:00.001+09:00

つかれてる。。。この一週間は息をつく暇がない。毎日も友だちに誘われて、毎日も出かける。正直に、私はどこにも行きたくない。ただ、静かに、ゆっくりで、家で家族とこの一週間を過ごしたい。だって、私にとして、最終までに一番大切なのは家族です。でも、友だちは私が日本に行く前にどうでも私に会いたいって、失望させたくないから、断る勇気がなくなった。どこにも行きたくないの。本当に。家でいなかったら、つかれちゃう。もうつかれてます。ホームシックか。。。短い時間で家にいなくても、ホームシックになる。（しまった。。。日本でどうやって生けるの。。。）

April Fools' Day draws closer...

2009-03-21T01:56:00.002+09:00

It's funny how i get the same response everytime i tell people my flight is on 1st April. "Ha? Really ah? You not bluffing me right? Wait i go airport see you off, you not there how??" hahaha~ Thanks alot? But i'm not lying... I'm really flying off to Tokyo on 1 April.

And i realize just how forgetful i am...whenever people ask me for my flight details, i have to recheck my itinerary...@_@
Can i just put down my flight details here so that i can remind myself of the time i need to fly? lol

1 Apr 09 / SIN-NARITA / 22:40hrs – 06:35hrs (2 Apr)

hmm...this should be convenient.

At first, only my dad would want to come along with me. Then my uncle said he could help, so these two old men will take the same flight as me to Tokyo. THEN! It has been decided that my cousin would also be coming along!

So...this became more than just "helping me settle down in Tokyo". It is now something like "7-Day Tokyo Tour!". hehex. I'd probably be really busy during my first 2 to 3 days, so i can't have fun with them touring Tokyo and such, i hope i'll be able to at least go to Disneyland or something with them once things have calmed down a little for me. =D

I used to be really dreading this day...because i know i'll have to leave my family behind. But now...at least, there's something i can look forward to.

Farewell, my friends~ As I go on my journey towards my dream...

2009-03-18T14:46:00.004+09:00

Here's a mass tag to all whom I think i should inform about my departure...

I'll be leaving on April 1st (no, this is not an April Fools' Day joke), two weeks from now, to the Land of the Rising Sun. I'll be studying in institutions at Tokyo, Japan.

I am under a scholarship provided by the Japanese government (Monbukagakushou) for a period of 3 years between 2009 to 2012. I'll be spending my first year in Bunka Institute of Language, majoring in the Japanese Language, then the next two years in Nippon Engineering College of Hachioji, majoring as a "Music Artist".

As I embark on my dream journey in music composition and performance, I will never forget all who has supported me in so many ways. I remember friends from school who'd just listen to my new compositions, or listen to me playing the piano during breaks, and friends who'd try to fill in the lyrics for music i've written.

Friends who'd also criticise my style and my performance skills...yes, thank you, sorry for making your ears hurt at that time. lol

I will take this once in a lifetime opportunity to polish my skills, train myself to finally be an accomplished professional musician, so that i can one day, show my gratitude to everyone who has given me their overwhelming support all these years.

For years, I dream of a moment where i can stand on a stage, and shout to the whole world, how much i love my family (especially, my parents), my mentors and my friends.

This dream journey did not come by easy, and will not be easy from here onwards either. I am not going to let another chance slip by. I will take everything in my stride and move on forward. No looking back now. I will succeed.

Goodbye for now, my dear family and friends!

oh, if any of you ever happen to swing by Tokyo when I'm there, do drop me a mail or something, so that we can have some fun. Cheers!

シンガポールの大学生、教授を刺した後に自殺

2009-03-14T15:17:00.001+09:00

シンガポールの大学生、教授を刺した後に自殺
3月3日14時35分配信ロイター

　［シンガポール　２日　ロイター］　シンガポールの南洋工科大学でエンジニア専攻の最終学年生が２日、教授を刺した後、ビルから飛び降りて自殺するという事件があった。大学側が明らかにした。

　地元警察のスポークスマンによると、現地時間１０時４７分に警察が現場に到着したところ、インドネシア人の学生はすでに死亡。教授は手当てを受けるために病院に搬送された。

　大学は声明で「事件に大きな衝撃を受け、悲しんでいる。徹底した調査を行う」と述べた。

　シンガポールでは学校や大学での暴力事件はまれで、近隣諸国の親たちは、安全に学べる場所としてシンガポールに子どもたちを送り出している。

----------------------------------

皆は学生が何故教授を刺したあと、自殺したの？その学生の暴力行動は納得できないって。。。
まず、何故その学生が教授を殺したかったか調べてないの？！「学生が死んだら、学生自分の所為だよ！だって、彼は人を殺したかったから！」と何で皆はそういえるの？たぶん、その事件で一番大切な問題は「その教授は。。。いったいその学生になにをしてましたか？」教授なら、いい人なはずですか？あやしい。。。ぜったいあやしい

I am going to be a Scholar

2009-03-14T14:33:00.003+09:00

I don't think I was ever under any scholarship before... And, so, this is the first time i'm being called a "scholar" back and forth. hahaha!

Even my visa says "Goverment Scholar". O_O woo~!

It feels like a privileged title, one which gives me an edge above everyone else. But yeah, it FEELS like this...whereas, in actual fact, i'm just an average student studying along with everyone else, starting from zero. I may start off a little higher than everyone else, but nobody can tell the winds' directions.

Starting at the top doesn't mean ending off at the top.

And, it is especially so, when I am going to study in the same cluster of institutions where Scholars from all over the world are enrolled in.

It will be a competitive study journey. An extremely competitive one.
I must work hard, so as to be worthy of the "scholar" title.

Rena, Thank you!! Mai,Arigatou!!

2009-03-11T23:24:00.006+09:00

MooooOoOOOOoooo~ Rena Chan bought me a Cadbury Cow from New Zealand!!
(although i dreamt she gave me a chicken instead...dunno why...but...)
I'm now wondering whether i should bring Mini Totoro to Japan, or should i bring Cadbury Moo Moo to Japan...Rena also gave me some chocolate~ But since it's in the fridge now, i won't take a picture, lest they melt.

I wanted to see moo moo cows in NZ!! Rena took a few pictures, only two show dots....... because the cows were to far away. LOL! But, her camera happens to be pretty good~ Can zoom in like 300% and can still be in viewable resolution. Really cool~ Thanks Rena! For the cow, and the wonderful pictures you've shared along your trip.

(I am not blind right...Rena is really taller than Mai lor! She still claims she's super tall...ugh~)

Operation Christchuch was a success!! Rena managed to meet Mai at her motel. Mai rang me up at (GOD forbid) 3am...just to tell me that. And boy, was I glad Mai and Rena was able to meet up. =D

As such, Rena was able to pass me whatever Mai had prepared for me. a GIGANTIC "Thank You" card (filled with words...), Hello Kitty and two postcards from Christchurch. Gigantic card consists of a looooooooong excerpt by Mai, with seriously hard-to-read handwriting, not her fault, but it's because i haven't read handwritten Japanese in real-life before. seriously.

Another short excerpt by Taro-niisan...fully in honorific Japanese. GOD! THEY KNEW I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HONORIFIC JAPANESE!! Brother Taro said it'll aid in my Japanese study... geez~ Thanks?

Rena: Thank you very muchfor your sincerity and going to all the trouble. Love ya lots! You always listen and remember what people says. You know what I would really like (the cow). Am eternally grateful to have such a good friend with such a good listening ear.

まい：わざわざ友達のモーテルに足を運んでて、プレゼントを送ってくれてありがとう。本当に、素敵だよ。どうもありがとうございます。まいに感動させられた。（泣）hehe

"What is so hard about being punctual?!"

2009-03-10T13:48:00.003+09:00

"What is so hard about being punctual?! We have been taught at school since young, haven't we? That's something we Japanese can never understand about foreigners. It is such an obvious and reasonable thing, being punctual, that is."

「当たり前じゃないの？遅刻なっとくできないっていうこと。だって、子供から学校でもそういうんじゃない？それだけ、日本人はまったくわからない。」

Quoted from a conversation I had with a fine Japanese young man...

Somehow, there was no way i could argue with him. I don't intend to, anyway. =)
Although I don't usually end up late for dates, it's still not for sure that I will end up punctual either.

The Japanese holds their principles of life tight to their mind and soul. They would be expected to follow every single virtue which reflects good personality. For example, keeping promises, not lying, and...being punctual.

One of my Japanese friends can be totally mindless about certain things, totally reckless when doing things, and have totally crazy habits that one can never imagine. But she......is punctual. Once she say she'll do something, she WILL do it.
Once she starts doing something, she WILL continue doing it.

There is this invisible hand. A hand that guides the Japanese's way of life. A hand which holds rules that the Japanese MUST follow. I think this is something we outsiders can never understand.

Say...but I am impressed. More amazed than impressed, i think. There is no other people that is more "unique" than Japanese people.

Kanagawa to Tokyo: 2.5hrs wasted per day

2009-03-09T02:58:00.003+09:00

I'll be literally spending 80 minutes on each single trip, including about 30 minutes of walking time and 40 mins on the train, from school and to school. However, this really balances out the high rental fee for the International Student House「国際学生会館」(what you call hostel, or dormitory).

Tokyo「東京」...is a very... VERY expensive place to live in. Especially if anyone wants to stay in or around the "circle of Yamanote「山手線」". My school just happens to be right in the centre of it, Shinjuku「新宿」. I was planning to stay at Hatsudai「初台」, which is just one-stop away by train. If i really stayed there, i'll end up spending literally close to SG$1000 solely on accomodation.

I know... I'm on scholarship, and the Japanese goverment also gives me monthly living allowance. But...THAT is definitely still too expensive, even for an average Japanese family. In comparison, I'll only be spending about SG$670 on accomodation in Kanagawa, compared to Tokyo's SG$980.

And so, I'm just a little glad I got posted to stay at the International Student House at Kanagawa Prefecture「神奈川」 (Sagamiono「相模大野」). Although Kanagawa is still like the 3rd largest city of Japan, after Tokyo and Osaka「大阪」, living cost there is relatively lower than really staying in Tokyo itself.

Kanagawa is NOT in Tokyo, for your information. It's going to be like travelling between two different areas, imagine Singapore to Johor Bahru. But thank goodness the train network in Japan is so wonderful (messy and complicated at the same time)it literally connects everywhere in Tokyo, so i'll still just be taking one line straight to and from school everyday, it'll take 40 mins on train though.

I just have to imagine Japanese rush-hour trains and I'll want to vomit...and yes, i'll have to deal with that.

Odakyuu-sen 「小田急線」is HELL in morning rush-hour, and so my Japanese friend tells me. I just hope I can get to SIT throughout my 40-min journey straight to Tokyo Met. Shinjuku.

Mai stayed at Kanagawa for the exact same reason, maybe it's pure coincidence, or maybe it's just THAT obvious...that nobody would want to stay in Tokyo, and so looks for cheaper options in Kanagawa (or Saitama).

今気づいた

2009-03-09T02:33:00.003+09:00

去年の１２月に、私はある友達に「私はいつも応援するよ！」って言いました。そして、電話したり、チャットしたり、いろいろに相談したり。。。今までずっと。これからきっと。
なんか。。。日本に行きたいけど、行きたくない。めちゃめちゃです。
彼女そのときの気持ち、今の私は完全にわかってきた。

家はずっと家ですね。家族はずっと。。。家族ですね。
最近もだんだん、親や親戚たちの気持ちをわかってきた。

友達に急に呼び出されて、御飯食べに行ったり、買い物したり、喫茶店で雑談したり。。。
みんなは「親友だよ！絶対に私のことを忘れないでね！」って言った。うれしい。

私はみんなにとして、こんなに重要だとぜんぜん思わなかった。

今気づきました。

私は。。。幸せです。

どこにいても、どんなに寂しくても、私はきっと一人じゃない。それだけをわかったら、私は何でもできるときがします。

みんなのために、自分のために。。。
私は強くなりたい。私は成長したい。
諦めません。

ごめん！

2009-03-06T21:26:00.002+09:00

寝れなかった。でも、はなしてから、なんとなく寝れました。ありがとう。

午後、まいに「今から話せるよ！」って携帯にテキストを送って、まいがオンラインのとき、私はぜんぜん気づかなかった。

ごめん！！

話したかったよ。でも。。。やっぱり、ずいぶん疲れたから。。。ぐっすり寝ていた。Sorries!!　@_@　

(All posts will now be published in Beth's World, regardless of it being in Japanese, Chinese or English in order to facilitate RSS Feed feature to Facebook Notes.)

Tokyo: April 2009 - 2012

2009-03-04T20:00:00.003+09:00

April 2009 - March 2010 :
文化外国語専門学校
Bunka Institute of Language

April 2010 - March 2012 :
日本工学院八王子専門学校
Nihon Kougakuin College of Hachioji

The first year will be spent at the centre of Tokyo. Big city, tall buildings, typical urban area, Shinjuku. The busiest area in Tokyo Met.

The 2nd and 3rd years will be spent nearer to the outskirts of Tokyo, at Hachioji. Well, not really rural...just that it's basically near the mountainous border of Tokyo-to and it's basically not as city-like. (I hope I would get at least a little chance to take some fresh country air.)

First year will basically be the study of the Japanese Language, and maybe Japanese Affairs, i don't really know my curriculum yet, but it's like what MEXT says, it's going to be a one-year INTENSIVE course.

Japanese people take years to get into a Japanese university...and i'm going to be expected to master the language that should be used in Japanese colleges in one year... woo~ I hope I can make it.

I'll be majoring in some course as a "Music Artist" at Nihon Kougakuin. The specialty course I think I would take should either be Music Composition/Arrangment or... Game Music. I don't know yet...i don't even know it myself.

Anyhow, I still don't know when my flight will be...

LOVE RENA!!

2009-02-27T16:15:00.002+09:00

Rena got me MINI TOTORO for my bday present!!! =D Yay yay yay!! I was actually wondering how i was gonna take my gigantic totoro with me when i go to Japan. Now I don't have to worry! BECAUSE!! Rena gave me a MINI TOTORO!!! ^_^ Love love love Rena Chan~

Because...i'll be gone soon.

2009-02-26T12:01:00.002+09:00

1) They're always looking to strike a conversation with me.

2) I get pissed or irritated easily recently, but they don't mind my stupid behaviour.

3) They often peek into my room and wonder what i'm doing.

4) They want to help, but they don't know how to help.

5) They're more anxious than anyone else now.

6) They just want me to be happier, day by day.

Because...i'll be gone soon.
I'm crying, because I know i'm happy.

What will happen when East Meets West

2009-02-23T00:31:00.002+09:00

not really East meets West...but it feels that way.

The question's more like "What'll happen if Rena meets Mai?" -_-

I can't imagine.

But if Rena is so very kind to do such a thing, and does it successfully, she'll be my only friend who would have been able to accomplish such a wonderful feat.

I will be forever grateful to Rena Chan. hahaha! For attempting to accomplish Mission Impossible: Operation Christchurch.

But everything seems so impossible...because...

Both of my dear friends don't know the way around...

Both of my dear friends have never met each other...

Both of my dear friends speak a language that seem alien to each other...

But yet...

Both of my friends are the few who really know me. and yet...

Loneliness...

2009-02-19T00:23:00.003+09:00

I wonder how I'll be able to deal with this when the time comes.

Day by day, I find it harder and harder to understand it. Most of the time, I'm absolutely excited about my future, and I just forget about all about being lonely and being out there all on my own.

I just know that...one day, all this excitement will all die down and I will wake up and find myself crouching in a little corner, finally realizing that...... "I am...actually... all alone now."

This feeling will come. This day will come. And the first thing I'll probably do is break down and cry, which I happen to be best at doing.

I am definitely not in the best of moods now as I am writing this. I am feeling lonely. Like there is nothing I can hold on to.

Like.

But, I still have something to hold onto now. I am, after all, at home.

What happens...when the time comes where I am not...at home?
There will come a day when...

I will miss every familiar sound I am listening to now.
I will miss every single face I see around me everyday now.
I will miss every food i eat everyday now.
I will miss every single thing I am doing everyday now.

90% of the time, I'm just excited. But there is this 10% , although little, it will still hit me when I am not ready for it.

This monster...called "loneliness".

It runs rampage in my heart, my mind, my body and soul. It is very painful, confusing, and tiring. Very.

The monster within myself.

Quiet Evening

2009-02-12T20:30:00.003+09:00

Usually, buses and cars would just cause so much noise on the road just beside my place. But it was exceptionally quiet today. So i decided to record a piano piece~

My Birthday Wish is...

2009-02-08T11:52:00.006+09:00

My Birthday wish is......now seriously, what makes you think i'll say it out loud?

Wows~ I think i've already celebrated my birthday 5 times now! But Hey, i'm still not buying the thing Mai said. She claims that if i celebrate my bday five times, i would have grown older by 5 years. NO! Never!

There was a birthday party at my house with sushi, pizza and fried noodles(?).

There was a huge celebration at Apollo (JB) with EVERYONE in my family.

There was a small gathering at my workplace on my last day of work, which was just 2 days before my bday.

Hung out with Shelly and Carol two days in a row and got a lovely present from them on "steamboat night" (Friday evening).

And one outing with HT, Celia and Emily yesterday. Lovely celebration near-to-midnight (by two hours) at the called-what-fountain(?).The cakes were delicious~ lol

Received plenty of Birthday calls, sms-es and emails from friends (my dad and mum barged into my room too...-_-) on 12 midnight. That explains why i was still awake until 2:30am...haha~ Thank you all! (If i couldn't pick up your call last night because i was engaged on the line, sorry!!, i'll contact you later today, i promise!! lol)

I received lots of meaningful gifts from everyone. "You must bring it to Japan with you, ok?!" is the exclamation i get from my dear cousins and friends.

(yeah, i'll try to bring em' all! but...shit...my luggage will be weighing a ton...)

I cannot express how much i cannot bear to leave my friends and family behind. Even so, I am really happy to have bonded unseverable ties with everyone.

I am really really proud of all my beloved friends and family. I really am.

My birthday wish is...simple. And it's for everyone. As long as everyone's healthy and good, that would be the greatest wish come true. =)

CHEERS! Happy 21st Birthday XT!

My $115 Phone Bill

2009-01-29T22:50:00.003+09:00

Daddy looked at me with stern eyes and asked me what, how, when, why?

I just smiled and said, "Hoho~ I'll go and pay the bill tomorrow! Cheers!"

WHAT?
Actually, the basic bill is just around $85, with free incoming calls, several minutes of free outgoing calls, several free sms-es, and near-to-unlimited 3G internet data usage, for every month.

So, hey! Another extra $30 or so worth of phone calls and sms-es ain't nothing to worry about eh??

(......)

HOW?
Basically...it was used on international calls and sms-es. But honestly, it's really cheap, i think! Less than $0.50 per minute~ =D oooh ok...so, how many minutes have i spent on overseas calls? 69 mins in total. Honestly...compared to Mai, this is probably NOTHING! i received at least 3 times more incoming calls from her than I making outgoing calls to her. I might consider her marriage proposal, so that she can pay my bills too. FYI, i've rejected her as many times as she has proposed. Wahaha! poor girl...

WHEN?
Honestly, it all started last year/month (mid-Dec 2008 to mid-Jan 2009)...Mai had a hundred million troubles about her working-holiday trip to Christchurch. I also had a thousand million questions and worries about my study-quest to Tokyo. It started last month, and i don't think it's gonna end anytime soon. I still got a million trillion zillion questions to ask her. (Same goes for her too...)

WHY?
Actually, I could have used Skype or something more money-friendly via the Internet.
But apparently...someonebody! SOMEBODY probably killed her own computer for some reason. So... haha~ no? I'm still using the internet for other overseas calls, 'cept for that somebody...-_- sheesh...

..............
There goes not one day Mai and I can go by without talking on the phone...we're both gonna succumb to the torture by the Devil of Phone Bills really, really soon. But seriously, i actually do feel $30 is nothing, in exchange for the ease and comfort i'm assured of through talking with Mai. I'm sure she feels the same too.

It's not like i can use all my money on her! But it's just that...she's there when i really need some quality advice, motivation and reassurance. Besides, she's probably spending more than 10,000 yen per month on me...weeeee~ hahahahaHA~ x_x

I'll get ready for what comes on my phone bill this month too~ @_@ tee heex~

Form K Found

2009-01-29T22:46:00.003+09:00

A frantic search for Form K started about one month ago.

After some painstaking effort and intense searching, Form K has been discovered.

Date 29/1/2009 noted.

STUPID S***!! geez...

Well anyway, i'm still waiting for news regarding my study campaign in Japan myself. So...everyone.... QUIT ASKING! hehe! =P CHEERS!

Inspired, Inspire

2009-01-16T20:44:00.004+09:00

People often question me...

Why Japan? Why not in Singapore, nor any other place?
Why another diploma? Why not university?
Why throw myself into the wild?
Why can I leave the place I call home?

Simple answer:
my dream.

I had always been inspired by Japanese soundtrack, be it games, tv dramas or anime. For some reason, there was this attractive aspect in the music that managed to drive me towards creating various inspirations in music composition and performance.

Well...In order to develop oneself in such an industry, sadly, i wouldn't classify Singapore as an ideal place for such studies and experience. The UK, US, Australia, even China has enough for one to develop a career in this aspect. However, why would I choose Japan before all else?

Just to say: If I were to go somewhere to pursue my dream, wouldn't the first location that come to mind be the place that inspired me in the first place?

I have already obtained a diploma in Singapore. People often ask why I wouldn't want to further my studies so that i can what..."have a wonderful career and stable income in the future". People are always aiming higher, naturally. So, why...why would i want to stay on the same level, if not, go a step back in life, and "waste" time in obtaining yet another diploma. Honestly, I am sick and tired of answering such questions.

I am not denying that these point of views aren't correct, everyone is right about this. Just that...just wanna say this: Everyone believes in different things.

I believe that I want to follow my dream and that following it is the right way.

And when there's a will, there's a way.

I've tried to obtain the Monbukagakusho scholarship for the 2nd time. And it seems I've been accepted by the Japanese government this time. I can no longer determine how hard I've worked for this scholarship. So, there is no way I would give up such a rare opportunity to do what I really want to.

If everything goes smoothly, I will definitely go to Japan. I don't want to chicken out because of some petty reason. I don't want to give up easily either.

I will strive to be successful in whatever I wish to accomplish.

I was inspired to move on this step by several motivating life stories, a really good friend, and I just hope that my actions will, in return, be able to inspire someone, anyone, who truly wants to fulfil their own dreams.

Lollipop toe~ (Minor Surgery on my big toe)

2009-01-13T17:34:00.002+09:00

Tis' my lollipop toe!!

I had minor surgery done on my toe with a stupid in-grown nail.

I'm in pain now as I type this. Hmm...

I witnessed the whole surgery process, it wasn't all that bloody or painful, but i'm definitely feeling the after-effects now. I can't move my foot, because every inch i move will result either in some weird stinging numbness or a sharp pain. T_T Waaaaa~

ugh..."pain pain go away~ don't come back another day though~"

Alphi brought me to a nice place

2009-01-06T23:39:00.002+09:00

Alphi brought me to a nice place today~ Just want to say i'm grateful to him.

I was really out of sorts this morning, but i'm just thankful that Alphi brought me there.

My mood was greatly improved for the day. If not, i wouldn't be able to concentrate at work nor anything else today.

=D

Baba Yetu (piano) ~Beth's Version~

2009-01-04T22:01:00.005+09:00

This weekend was a little boring and I was out of sorts.
Didn't think I would go out anywhere. Didn't want to think too much about things I can do nothing about. And usually, when i'm in a slump like this, I end up in front of my piano creating songs.

So, i spent my weekend with over 16 hours at my piano, and trying to record and master this damn thing i arranged.

Baba Yetu was originally composed by Christopher Tin, anyone who knows this song will know the awesomeness of this song.
Pardon me for my lousy arrangement...i just wanted to play this song on the piano.

Baba Yetu (piano) ~Beth's Version~ (on FaceBook)

Beth is a weakling

2009-01-02T22:39:00.002+09:00

Sometimes, i really thought i just wanted to help her.
I thought that by understanding her, I can really assist her and help her become stronger.

But in the end, all my efforts were fruitless!
I didn't want that her to be hurt.
But she'd go all the fuckin' way to go hurt herself yet again and then start regretting it or thinking it's actually nothing to begin with.

I was heartbroken. Heartbroken by how weak I was unable to understand her when I know that she was the one that's hurt most. And i was a freakin' bitch and still didn't bother to take another step into comforting her or understanding her plight.

She's saying she's fine. She's saying she will be fine. She's saying she should be fine.

THE HELL!? You'd expect me to believe some shit like that? I KNOW when someone is just pretending to be fine just so that I will feel better.

Am i supposed to be thankful to someone who'd try to pretend everything's fine just so I won't feel bad about it?

Ok, well. Maybe she's fine. Maybe she's really able to cope.

But it's just "fuck it all!" in the end because I was the weakling who wasn't able to encourage, to help, and comfort someone broken, and still be encouraged, helped and comforted by that person in return.

fuckin' shit..

Xmas Goodies!

2008-12-27T20:21:00.003+09:00

Although it is almost the same every year with parties, foods and drinks every time, the events would always have some fresh breezes and experiences.

there were new faces, new encounters, and each time always seem fuller and more fun than the previous times.

This year, there were new experiences, one such event was the Xmas party with my colleagues at SGH BME. lots of warmth, gifts and love. It was wonderful. thank you Shelly, Carol and Mr Ho.

Also, thanks to Rena and family for a quite-Oriental Xmas party. haha!

And to top things off, a cute Xmas greetings' call from Mai with her Japanese version of "Jingle Bells" .

Very lovely. Very happy.

(also looking forward to meeting Celia and Co. on Monday)

JLPT take~

2008-12-08T22:05:00.002+09:00

Finally, i've taken the JLPT at Nanyang Girls' High yesterday morning.
It wasn't too difficult, and i should be able to pass with a high score. =D

The person that was sitting in front of me during the exam really really looked like Celia from the back. -_- Her hairstyle (back in Poly days), her build and the type of t-shirt Celia always like to wear. hmmm~

However, as the 4-hour long ordeal progresses, the girl's hair grew messier and it no longer looked like Celia. hahaha!

May Singapore Remember One of Our Own, Fallen but not Forgotten

2008-12-02T23:29:00.004+09:00

Original Post: http://mixi.jp/view_diary.pl?id=1010438424&owner_id=20300042

22 Foreign Nationals Killed in India's 9/11

(http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1210322)

Terrorism in the modern war. In times where you thought war is in someplace far away from home, it will actually, on the contrary, strike you where it hurts most.

A Singaporean lawyer (28 yrs old) was one of the 22 foreign nationals who fell victim under the hands of merciless terrorists in the Mumbai attacks. (http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20081130/tap-237-terror-attack-victims-body-flown-231650b.html)

She's probably the only Singaporean who has been put under terrorist fire and murdered ever since the Mac bombings several years ago.

I've never cared too much about India's politics, nor did I hold a perspective more emotional than this very moment, every time I read the news about all the senseless killings being carried out in terrorist attacks all over the world.

When a terrorist attacks in one country, it does not only concern the country involved. In this case, a total of 22 foreigners were murdered. Five each from Israel and the US; two each from France, Australia and Canada; one each from Germany, the UK, Japan, Italy, Thailand, and Singapore.

However, the boundary does not stop there.

The whole world is affected.

The whole world is attacked.

The whole world is hurt.

The terrorists might have achieved the objective of creating panic and confusion. But ultimately, the people who gets hurt are still one of our kind - human.

Isn't terrorism just another form of genocide?

Proof of Existence

2008-11-20T10:16:00.002+09:00

Is it possible to occupy oneself with everyone and everything else except him/herself?
It's not like there's no space for him/herself. But it's more like......
The one person... is willing to give space only to others. Just not to him/herself.
Because he/she doesn't know and doesn't want to know about the truth about him/herself at all.
Does such an individual exist? Is there a way to prove his/her existence then?

(i'm thinking of spies... tee heex)

Alarm Clock Friends

2008-11-15T14:53:00.002+09:00

I've got two friends that would give me an auto morning call without me even asking for it.

..........

They are all linked to my heart, i suppose.
They would coincidentally send me a mail that would make my phone make an explosive ring that will frigten me off the bed.

But i'm so fortunate... to have two alarm clock friends - who think about me early in the morning.

My body's paying the price?

2008-10-31T20:31:00.001+09:00

Recently, i've been attacked by waves of dizziness and numbness on my head.
The doctor diagnosed it as "stress".

Honestly, i don't know if i'm even stressed or not. I didn't think I was.

And the doc said something which made me think:
"Sometimes, you keep telling yourself that you are not stressed and that you are capable of handling things. But eventually, it will be your body that tells you that you can no longer take it."

Really?
If this is the case, then i can no longer diagnose for myself if I am stressed or not.

Even then, what am I stressed about? I don't know. Or, is there too much that I no longer know where to start counting from?

BME Dept Lunch @ Carousel

2008-10-22T21:16:00.003+09:00

The whole of our department went on a Lunch outing at Carousel this afternoon! And I'm very happy today!! (without considering the fact that i'm having a splitting headache this very moment)And we took lots of pictures~ I HAD to take a picture with at least everyone, because this is our very FIRST outing after all. =D

Anyway, this is probably the buffet i made least use of the full cost. The food was splendid, but for the sake of my ready-to-fail diet plan, i'd bet i only filled my tummy up till 80% only.

(oh, now i'm thinking if it's because i skipped 20% lunch and 100% dinner that i'm having a headache now... hmm...)

Anyway, photos are all uploaded onto Facebook and mixi. If you wanna see the pictures, please proceed to the following links:

(Facebook)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46036&id=755303410&ref=mf

(mixi)
http://mixi.jp/view_album.pl?id=22774654

If you're unable to view the pictures... it shows that you probably don't live in this modern 21st century. My advice to you is "GET A GOD DAMN FACEBOOK ACCOUNT NOW!!"

Gilrs' Night Out~ (Hard Rock Cafe)

2008-10-11T19:12:00.002+09:00

We went to Hard Rock Cafe to celebrate Carol's birthday!!
Common vocabulary that can describe the overall experience:
Fun, Tasty, Crazy, Precious, Joyous, (Sick)

Well... pictures are all posted on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=44240&id=755303410&ref=mf

So i'm not going to go ahead and post any more here.

Things started getting a little ecstatic after the alcoholic introductions though...
There were LOTS more jokes, LOTS more fun, and LOTS more laughter~ =D

But the greeeaaaaaat thing was I actually got drunk after one bottle of Corona and halfway through my mug of beer T_T This is SO ****ing LAME!! But i can't deny i have low liquor tolerance. Next time, i'd probably have to call it quits just after a pint. Sheeesh...

Got home at around midnight after a long taxi-drought... in which we finally decided to hail a cab.

And guess WHAT!!? My legs are fried again! From today's Mass Casualty Exercise at the hospital. **** And i gotta go out in less than an hour... I might need a baby pram to ride on.

And because of the late dismissal...i missed watching the cosplay contest at Central!! ARRRRGH~ I'm gonna eat loads tonight to make up for a looooooong haaaaaaaaard day. CHEERS!

StrikerS ~

2008-10-05T21:52:00.002+09:00

Don't mind the title, i just needed to give this blog a title so i put in the title of the anime i was watching earlier on.

Anyway, i just got back from Johor, where i spent this weekend at.
Uncle Yean decided to treat us to Yew's Cafe at Molek because he had some spare change at the moment.

Everything else everyone else ate seemed delicious enough... mine was crap.
This Italian Black Pepper dunno-what Chicken.The only thing i could enjoy was the Mushroom Soup and some Escargot~

And, this is Lotus in front of my Granny's house. Just wanted to test how lousy the camera of my new phone is. And yes, the quality is really bulls**t.

Oh~ And we had Chee Cheong Fun this afternoon for lunch. Comes with a few different flavors: Ipoh Red Sauce , Penang Prawn Sauce , Indonesian Curry etc. I had the Red Sauce version. =D The picture looks kinda scary though... But it's tasty~

Breadou Day !! ("Hole In a Pocket" Edition)

2008-10-01T22:29:00.002+09:00

Yes, BIIIIIIIG hole in a pocket. Recently, it's been a little too much. I am just about to use up my budget in less than one week after my payday !!

I spent it on a lot of things... today, i spent it on Breadou Day.
Actually, it's Children's Day.

Brought my cousins to Waraku for a well-deserved treat =)

And then, I bought Breadou for them. My mum almost fell for it when we told her it was tasty and expensive bread.

Anyways ! I bought the Sleeping Face for myself. It smells like Vanilla cream. =)

Heat, beach and hot pot don't mix

2008-09-28T20:54:00.003+09:00

It was extremely HOT this afternoon. And some ice cream at Haagen Daz (Vivo City) was supposed to simmer the heat.

Sure, then, in the spur of a moment, we decided to go to Sentosa. We went on the Luge ride too! :D We hung out at the beach for a while. but we couldn't do much because we were either in long pants or jean skirts. We just soaked our feet in the water (and sand). (And that's when the heat started to take its effect on me.)

We went to our favorite Hot-Pot haunt at Bukit Timah. (Indulgence is bliss...indeed) I couldn't eat too much though, NOT that i'm trying to be disciplined since i'm on a diet, but simply because i was already feeling sick. (I would have eaten much more...screw dieting...)

Then, the hot pot didn't make things better. I feel even more nauseous after eating, even after a shower while i type this blog.

Sometimes, things are way more fun when kids are in the family. hahaha~

Debu~ Indulgence is Bliss

2008-09-27T17:47:00.009+09:00

Reading NOTE: Debu = fat.
Allow me to say what Mai-san thought me some time ago:
Yabai~ Debu ni nacchauyo!!
(for translation...please consult Guru Beth personally)

I shall publish this blog post while i wait for SOME slow poke to publish the pictures we took yesterday evening.

I'm just wondering if i have been indulging myself a LITTLE too much these few days. We went to Central Square yesterday afternoon for some fine dining Japanese cuisine... which sucked... (restaurant name shan't be disclosed due to legal liabilities) I had Salmon with rice. (My grilled salmon is covered by Shelly's tempura though)

That night, I went to Jurong Point with Carol~ I've finally been able to visit the "LEGENDARY" Japanese Food Street!! .... ho ho~ Really legendary.
(Someone i cn't rmb, should be Eva or Celia... one of them... or both of them... asked me:

"Eh.. you been to the Japanese Food Street in JP yet?"
(Me): "Uhh... no? THERE IS ONE THERE?!?!!"

And i've wanted to visit ever since.... ok. Apart from the atmosphere generated by Mr Giant Crabby friend and Mr Giant Octy friend here... i don't understand how on EARTH this can even be called a food street.

Ok, space limitations in Singapore. We'll just make do with it. Not that i'm complaining. BUT! ...ok, maybe i was expecting a little too much from local chefs. After all, this is NOT Japan. No, i didn't eat anything from Shokutsu 10 Osaka.

After one "hard" half day at work on Saturday, Shelly treated me to Marche at Vivo City. Ok, i didn't even know that restaurant existed before today. Indeed, "I Need To Go Out More"...

Good ol' French Sausage (although it is a little salty, and that "Spain *whatever-name* Rice" was really delicious too. The price was also quite "pretty" there. Thanks to Shelly for this wondrous meal~~

BEWARE - walking-bio-electric-shock hazard

2008-09-24T20:02:00.006+09:00

I might as well make good use of this sign on my lab bench. There are two potential electrical shock hazards in our lab.

I'm one of them, whenever i put on this windbreaker, but... the other one... I'm tellin' you!! IT'S SERIOUS! She's got to be the most dangerous walking-bio-electric hazard I've ever known on this earth! Sheeeesh....

Here's a typical scenario of a normal workday:

(phone rings)

Me: Good morning, BME.

Caller: May i speak to Carol please?

Me: Yes, please hold on. (pause) Carol, your call.

(holds out the phone to Carol and she reaches her hand out for it)

*SPLIT SPLAT SPARK*

Me: (OUCH!!! damn it, not again!?)

Static charge...... We have to suffer every single day with this Walking-Bio-Electric-Shock Hazard (WBESH in short; pronounced as W(u)Besh)...

very terrifying indeed... ima hang this sign on her seat forever.

Suffering aside, we went to the Railway Station for lunch today!! That's probably the only place in Singapore that Malaysia still has control over...

nah~ Who cares~ They got good food there. And since i'm in a good mood, i took some pictures.

Then, on the way back to our workplace from the railway station, Carol and I thought this looks a little romantic and nostalgic... So...

Don't know what Brother Ho's trying to stop... Since he's camera-shy, i'll probably be able to reveal his face only later.

And that's all folks' ... (for today, that is)

I want to know 5 things about you that i don't know yet...

2008-09-23T15:05:00.007+09:00

Post 5 things about you that i don't know in the comments below, or even better, post a blog about it in your own blog.

Or... if you can, tell me 5 things i may not know about myself. o_O

Anyway, here are 5 things you may not know about me yet:

1)
My favorite drink is plain water with ice.
ICE KOSONG is my Kopitiam Beverage Board No. 1 .

2)
My favorite exclamation of surprise, confusion, shock and utter amazement is:
"Heh!?!!"

3)
My favorite cartoon character of all time is:
Bobdog

4)
My Singlish is bad >_<
( must spend more time with Celia...)

5)
I don't know how to cook.
i only know how to break the egg, i don't know how to fry it.

This is what happens when i don't have a blog topic... So, slowly, you'll get to know me better and better things at a time. :D lol

I need to go out more....

2008-09-21T13:55:00.010+09:00

I didn't friggin' know the whole of Orchard was under renovation. I didn't remember that Lido's escalators skip a storey. I don't know when Formula One takes place in Singapore. I haven't been to the DFS before until yesterday... I...need...to...go...out...more......

Anyhow, I had a great time yesterday with Celia, HT and Emili. Ok, her name is Emily, but i just think it's cute to write her name as "Emili" (sorry!!).

And, I inserted one new phrase into my dictionary:

Mirror Photography

We didn't do much Mirror Photograhy yesterday, but.... i think it's a wacky thing to do.

Ok, where there are mirrors that can fit us all in, you see us!

In a sense, you get to see what others see of themselves when they look in the mirror. Get it? Well, usually, you see me as myself. But you can't see how i look in a mirror, so Mirror Photography sorta lets you see how others see themselves when they look in the mirror. We get to "know" each other better, somehow. hahaha~

F1 eh? ....... Honestly, i'm already starting to think it's causing us more trouble than good~ Alright, I think it's fun and an honour for F1 to hold the first street night race in Singapore, but.... there are heaps of inconvenience caused too. But Ok, it is fun.

I don't even know the brand or model of this thing i'm posing with...

V V V V V I P.....

2008-09-19T10:44:00.006+09:00

Actually, it was not until last weekend that i learnt that V V V I P exist. All we ever say or hear people saying are "VIP" this "VIP" that. But seriously...here's the question:

How on earth are we to classify who's very important, and who's more important than the very important person, and who is more important than the person that's more important than the very important person, and who is more important than the person who is more important than the person who is more important than the very important person and who is more............ etc...??

Anyway, here are my VIPs of my life:

1) Unfortunately, Acquaintances and people i hardly hold a regular conversation for up to more than 5 minutes do not fall into any VIP category.

2) "Friends" are not limited to those that only have physical contact with me. It also applies to those that have kept in touch with me online / via phone

VIP : Colleagues / Classmates who need/provide help; no other times spent together besides work/school

VVIP: Friends who would hang out with me once in a while; Family whom i hardly meet or even talk with

VVVIP: Friends who care to know about me; Friends who would listen to my troubles and allow me to listen to theirs; All other relatives , especially elders in the family (and myself)

VVVVIP: Bosom friends (currently none) , my dearest cousins: Hoe, SW, Yuan

VVVVVIP: My parents, a special someone (currently none)

Sometimes, i question myself, where should i put "myself" under all those categories. I actually realize i can only put "myself" in the "VVVIP" category.

Anyway, if you even bother to read this blog, don't worry, you already fall into my VVVIP category. :D Cheers~

Sleepless nights in a row~~~

2008-09-17T18:18:00.007+09:00

Last Friday night
Somehow, i was preparing for my trip to my grandma's house and i couldn't sleep a wink. THEN! On Saturday morning, a VVIP got hospitalised in our hospital and i'm telling you... Being the only dude on standby that Saturday wasn't a piece of cake... Darn 'lucky'...

Saturday
Everyone loves mooncake festivals. Was chatting with everyone at my grandma's house till late night. It was just like CNY, a family reunion, it was happy!

Sunday (night)
The official Mooncake festival day. We stayed at grandma's house till pretty late for the praying ceremony, eating and see-the-moon-session. Although there was no traffic jam at 2nd Link, we still reached home close to midnight. After unpacking and stuff... it was close to 1am. God, but i'm slow in doing things nowadays. Maybe i'm getting old... Then... while i slept....

Monday (morning/midnight)
I had two nightmares. How the heck am i supposed to sleep after waking up at 3:30am?! Trust me, it was TWO freakin scary nightmares.

Monday (night)

I chatted with Mai till 12am local time. So happy i learnt "meccha" that night i hardly slept. (no seriously...) it was good-old-insomnia. Couldn't sleep for no reason.

Tuesday (night)
Ok, blame it on myself. BUT later...I was playing SimCities: Destinations. I reached home at 11pm and i just wanted to check a few mails. I swear! I JUST wanted to check my mail.... but that SimCities Quick Launch button was just too hard to resist...

Wednesday (night/morning)
I feel extremely guilty, but at the same time, i had a good time. Mai reached home late at night and as expected, she went online as soon as she could. We talked for god knows how many hours?! By the time i realized my brain is getting too slow for a Japanese conversation... it was 2:00 am for her.

Ok, sure, the conversation was carried out with mutual understanding and total consent on both sides. Nobody wanted the convo to end... but... seriously! This isn't the first time... we ought to review our chatting times... or my working life will be utterly messed up. haha~ But it's FUN! That's all that matters, really..

Thursday (morning)
(Don't tell my boss....)
I'm already about to be KO'ed on my lab bench... Luckily, i can post this thing, keeping me awake for probably another half hour. We gotta go attend a medical convention in the afternoon... I hope i can survive till then. Worst comes to worst, please save me using the medical equipment on display at the convention.

**...... I think ...... i'm hoping to chat with Mai again tonight... ** struggling.....surviving.....i might start punching myself soon...
Going to meet up with Celia, Ht and Emili this Saturday. I want to make sure the outing is at least in the afternoon, i need some hard-earned sleep, for goodness' sake.

Nothing fancy here...

2008-09-15T18:13:00.000+09:00

Created a blog... in quite a long while.

I hope i'm capable of updating this blog frequently.
This will probably be more personal than my GameSpot profile.

For my close relatives and beloved friends...

But don't expect fancy pictures, fancy layout, fancy styles and gadgets... This blog is just here for the sole purpose of you knowing me and me knowing you. Simply for writing and reading.

I don't think i even have the interest or time to make beautiful stuff out of nothing nowadays anyway.

Anyway! Cheers~ To anyone who manages to read this.