Inspired, Inspire

People often question me...

Why Japan? Why not in Singapore, nor any other place?
Why another diploma? Why not university?
Why throw myself into the wild?
Why can I leave the place I call home?

Simple answer:
my dream.

I had always been inspired by Japanese soundtrack, be it games, tv dramas or anime. For some reason, there was this attractive aspect in the music that managed to drive me towards creating various inspirations in music composition and performance.

Well...In order to develop oneself in such an industry, sadly, i wouldn't classify Singapore as an ideal place for such studies and experience. The UK, US, Australia, even China has enough for one to develop a career in this aspect. However, why would I choose Japan before all else?

Just to say: If I were to go somewhere to pursue my dream, wouldn't the first location that come to mind be the place that inspired me in the first place?

I have already obtained a diploma in Singapore. People often ask why I wouldn't want to further my studies so that i can what..."have a wonderful career and stable income in the future". People are always aiming higher, naturally. So, why...why would i want to stay on the same level, if not, go a step back in life, and "waste" time in obtaining yet another diploma. Honestly, I am sick and tired of answering such questions.

I am not denying that these point of views aren't correct, everyone is right about this. Just that...just wanna say this: Everyone believes in different things.

I believe that I want to follow my dream and that following it is the right way.

And when there's a will, there's a way.

I've tried to obtain the Monbukagakusho scholarship for the 2nd time. And it seems I've been accepted by the Japanese government this time. I can no longer determine how hard I've worked for this scholarship. So, there is no way I would give up such a rare opportunity to do what I really want to.

If everything goes smoothly, I will definitely go to Japan. I don't want to chicken out because of some petty reason. I don't want to give up easily either.

I will strive to be successful in whatever I wish to accomplish.

I was inspired to move on this step by several motivating life stories, a really good friend, and I just hope that my actions will, in return, be able to inspire someone, anyone, who truly wants to fulfil their own dreams.

Lollipop toe~ (Minor Surgery on my big toe)

Tis' my lollipop toe!!

I had minor surgery done on my toe with a stupid in-grown nail.

I'm in pain now as I type this. Hmm...

I witnessed the whole surgery process, it wasn't all that bloody or painful, but i'm definitely feeling the after-effects now. I can't move my foot, because every inch i move will result either in some weird stinging numbness or a sharp pain. T_T Waaaaa~

ugh..."pain pain go away~ don't come back another day though~"

Alphi brought me to a nice place

Alphi brought me to a nice place today~ Just want to say i'm grateful to him.

I was really out of sorts this morning, but i'm just thankful that Alphi brought me there.

My mood was greatly improved for the day. If not, i wouldn't be able to concentrate at work nor anything else today.

=D

Baba Yetu (piano) ~Beth's Version~

This weekend was a little boring and I was out of sorts.
Didn't think I would go out anywhere. Didn't want to think too much about things I can do nothing about. And usually, when i'm in a slump like this, I end up in front of my piano creating songs.

So, i spent my weekend with over 16 hours at my piano, and trying to record and master this damn thing i arranged.

Baba Yetu was originally composed by Christopher Tin, anyone who knows this song will know the awesomeness of this song.
Pardon me for my lousy arrangement...i just wanted to play this song on the piano.

Baba Yetu (piano) ~Beth's Version~ (on FaceBook)

Beth is a weakling

Sometimes, i really thought i just wanted to help her.
I thought that by understanding her, I can really assist her and help her become stronger.

But in the end, all my efforts were fruitless!
I didn't want that her to be hurt.
But she'd go all the fuckin' way to go hurt herself yet again and then start regretting it or thinking it's actually nothing to begin with.

I was heartbroken. Heartbroken by how weak I was unable to understand her when I know that she was the one that's hurt most. And i was a freakin' bitch and still didn't bother to take another step into comforting her or understanding her plight.

She's saying she's fine. She's saying she will be fine. She's saying she should be fine.

THE HELL!? You'd expect me to believe some shit like that? I KNOW when someone is just pretending to be fine just so that I will feel better.

Am i supposed to be thankful to someone who'd try to pretend everything's fine just so I won't feel bad about it?

Ok, well. Maybe she's fine. Maybe she's really able to cope.

But it's just "fuck it all!" in the end because I was the weakling who wasn't able to encourage, to help, and comfort someone broken, and still be encouraged, helped and comforted by that person in return.

fuckin' shit..