LOVE RENA!!

Rena got me MINI TOTORO for my bday present!!! =D Yay yay yay!! I was actually wondering how i was gonna take my gigantic totoro with me when i go to Japan. Now I don't have to worry! BECAUSE!! Rena gave me a MINI TOTORO!!! ^_^ Love love love Rena Chan~

Because...i'll be gone soon.

1) They're always looking to strike a conversation with me.

2) I get pissed or irritated easily recently, but they don't mind my stupid behaviour.

3) They often peek into my room and wonder what i'm doing.

4) They want to help, but they don't know how to help.

5) They're more anxious than anyone else now.

6) They just want me to be happier, day by day.

Because...i'll be gone soon.
I'm crying, because I know i'm happy.

What will happen when East Meets West

not really East meets West...but it feels that way.

The question's more like "What'll happen if Rena meets Mai?" -_-

I can't imagine.

But if Rena is so very kind to do such a thing, and does it successfully, she'll be my only friend who would have been able to accomplish such a wonderful feat.

I will be forever grateful to Rena Chan. hahaha! For attempting to accomplish Mission Impossible: Operation Christchurch.

But everything seems so impossible...because...

Both of my dear friends don't know the way around...

Both of my dear friends have never met each other...

Both of my dear friends speak a language that seem alien to each other...

But yet...

Both of my friends are the few who really know me. and yet...

Loneliness...

I wonder how I'll be able to deal with this when the time comes.

Day by day, I find it harder and harder to understand it. Most of the time, I'm absolutely excited about my future, and I just forget about all about being lonely and being out there all on my own.

I just know that...one day, all this excitement will all die down and I will wake up and find myself crouching in a little corner, finally realizing that...... "I am...actually... all alone now."

This feeling will come. This day will come. And the first thing I'll probably do is break down and cry, which I happen to be best at doing.

I am definitely not in the best of moods now as I am writing this. I am feeling lonely. Like there is nothing I can hold on to.

Like.

But, I still have something to hold onto now. I am, after all, at home.

What happens...when the time comes where I am not...at home?
There will come a day when...

I will miss every familiar sound I am listening to now.
I will miss every single face I see around me everyday now.
I will miss every food i eat everyday now.
I will miss every single thing I am doing everyday now.

90% of the time, I'm just excited. But there is this 10% , although little, it will still hit me when I am not ready for it.

This monster...called "loneliness".

It runs rampage in my heart, my mind, my body and soul. It is very painful, confusing, and tiring. Very.

The monster within myself.

Quiet Evening

Usually, buses and cars would just cause so much noise on the road just beside my place. But it was exceptionally quiet today. So i decided to record a piano piece~

My Birthday Wish is...

My Birthday wish is......now seriously, what makes you think i'll say it out loud?

Wows~ I think i've already celebrated my birthday 5 times now! But Hey, i'm still not buying the thing Mai said. She claims that if i celebrate my bday five times, i would have grown older by 5 years. NO! Never!

There was a birthday party at my house with sushi, pizza and fried noodles(?).

There was a huge celebration at Apollo (JB) with EVERYONE in my family.

There was a small gathering at my workplace on my last day of work, which was just 2 days before my bday.

Hung out with Shelly and Carol two days in a row and got a lovely present from them on "steamboat night" (Friday evening).

And one outing with HT, Celia and Emily yesterday. Lovely celebration near-to-midnight (by two hours) at the called-what-fountain(?).The cakes were delicious~ lol

Received plenty of Birthday calls, sms-es and emails from friends (my dad and mum barged into my room too...-_-) on 12 midnight. That explains why i was still awake until 2:30am...haha~ Thank you all! (If i couldn't pick up your call last night because i was engaged on the line, sorry!!, i'll contact you later today, i promise!! lol)

I received lots of meaningful gifts from everyone. "You must bring it to Japan with you, ok?!" is the exclamation i get from my dear cousins and friends.

(yeah, i'll try to bring em' all! but...shit...my luggage will be weighing a ton...)

I cannot express how much i cannot bear to leave my friends and family behind. Even so, I am really happy to have bonded unseverable ties with everyone.

I am really really proud of all my beloved friends and family. I really am.

My birthday wish is...simple. And it's for everyone. As long as everyone's healthy and good, that would be the greatest wish come true. =)

CHEERS! Happy 21st Birthday XT!