LOVE RENA!!

Rena got me MINI TOTORO for my bday present!!! =D Yay yay yay!! I was actually wondering how i was gonna take my gigantic totoro with me when i go to Japan. Now I don't have to worry! BECAUSE!! Rena gave me a MINI TOTORO!!! ^_^ Love love love Rena Chan~

Because...i'll be gone soon.

1) They're always looking to strike a conversation with me.

2) I get pissed or irritated easily recently, but they don't mind my stupid behaviour.

3) They often peek into my room and wonder what i'm doing.

4) They want to help, but they don't know how to help.

5) They're more anxious than anyone else now.

6) They just want me to be happier, day by day.

Because...i'll be gone soon.
I'm crying, because I know i'm happy.

What will happen when East Meets West

not really East meets West...but it feels that way.

The question's more like "What'll happen if Rena meets Mai?" -_-

I can't imagine.

But if Rena is so very kind to do such a thing, and does it successfully, she'll be my only friend who would have been able to accomplish such a wonderful feat.

I will be forever grateful to Rena Chan. hahaha! For attempting to accomplish Mission Impossible: Operation Christchurch.

But everything seems so impossible...because...

Both of my dear friends don't know the way around...

Both of my dear friends have never met each other...

Both of my dear friends speak a language that seem alien to each other...

But yet...

Both of my friends are the few who really know me. and yet...

Loneliness...

I wonder how I'll be able to deal with this when the time comes.

Day by day, I find it harder and harder to understand it. Most of the time, I'm absolutely excited about my future, and I just forget about all about being lonely and being out there all on my own.

I just know that...one day, all this excitement will all die down and I will wake up and find myself crouching in a little corner, finally realizing that...... "I am...actually... all alone now."

This feeling will come. This day will come. And the first thing I'll probably do is break down and cry, which I happen to be best at doing.

I am definitely not in the best of moods now as I am writing this. I am feeling lonely. Like there is nothing I can hold on to.

Like.

But, I still have something to hold onto now. I am, after all, at home.

What happens...when the time comes where I am not...at home?
There will come a day when...

I will miss every familiar sound I am listening to now.
I will miss every single face I see around me everyday now.
I will miss every food i eat everyday now.
I will miss every single thing I am doing everyday now.

90% of the time, I'm just excited. But there is this 10% , although little, it will still hit me when I am not ready for it.

This monster...called "loneliness".

It runs rampage in my heart, my mind, my body and soul. It is very painful, confusing, and tiring. Very.

The monster within myself.

Quiet Evening

Usually, buses and cars would just cause so much noise on the road just beside my place. But it was exceptionally quiet today. So i decided to record a piano piece~