DAD! MUM! DEAL WITH IT!!

GEEZ~ I AM GOING TO STAY IN JAPAN FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS. DEAL WITH IT! HERE I AM, TRYING FREAKING HARD TO ACCUSTOM MYSELF TO LIFE HERE, MAKE MYSELF EXCEL IN WHATEVER I AM DOING, TRYING TO THINK OF NEW WAYS TO MAKE THINGS EASIER! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE HOMESICK......AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE HOMESICK!

MAKE YOURSELF UNDERSTAND DAMMIT! LOVE DOESN'T CHANGE OVERNIGHT! EVEN IF I DON'T SAY I AM HOMESICK, IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM NOT!!

HERE I AM TRYING TO BE STRONG, OR AT LEAST APPEAR STRONG, YOU'D EXPECT ME TO SHOW EVERY SINGLE SIGN OF WEAKNESS JUST SO I CAN DO WHAT? WORRY SOMEONE?!

I AM BUSY. OR AT LEAST, KEEPING MYSELF BUSY! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY FREE TIME TO THINK ABOUT STUPID THINGS LIKE "I MISS HOME..."

BEING HOMESICK IS SOMETHING THAT IS PERSISTENT FOR LIKE 24 HOURS A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, 365 DAYS A YEAR! THIS! DOES! NOT! CHANGE!!! I DON'T HAVE TO SAY THIS! DO I?!!

I AM MAKING MYSELF STRONGER DAY BY DAY! I AM MORE DEPENDENT ON MYSELF DAY BY DAY!

DAD! MUM! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD SEEK YOUR OWN ADVICE! SAYING I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS?? WHAT SHIT IS THIS?! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS AT ALL!!!! YOU ARE....AT H-O-M-E~~~ YOU CAN FIND SUPPORT AMONG YOUR OWN FAMILY OR FRIENDS! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ME A THOUSAND MILES AWAY! GOSH!! WHAT CAN I DO!? NOTHING!

EVERYTIME YOU TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU CAN'T GET USED TO ME NOT BEING AT HOME, YOU JUST SHOW HOW WEAK YOU ARE! AND YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD????!!!!!! YOU JUST MAKE ME~!! MAKE M-E ME FEEL TERRIBLE! MAKING YOUR DAUGHTER WHO'S OVERSEAS ALONE FEEL LIKE THAT, IT'S THE WORST THING YOU CAN EVER DO!

I AM MAKING EVERY EFFORT TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I AM HAVING NO PROBLEMS GETTING USED TO LIFE HERE, AND THAT EVERYTHING'S FINE...BUT, YOU ARE NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF GET USED TO YOUR LIFE BACK HOME AT ALL!!!

ALL I'M ASKING! IS FOR YOU GUYS TO GROW STRONGER! GET SUPPORT FROM YOUR FAMILY! YOUR BROTHERS, YOUR SISTERS, YOUR FRIENDS! OR BEST! MAKE YOURSELF STRONGER BY YOURSELF! AND DON'T TRY NOT TO CAUSE INCONVENIENCE TO ANYONE ELSE! GET USED TO IT! DEAL WITH IT! I AM STAYING PUT HERE FOR A LONG TIME! AND NOTHING'S GOING TO CHANGE THIS FACT!

(i held on to the SHIFT key tightly throughout this whole rant. i am not angry. i am just frustrated at how i'm trying so damn hard to be stronger, but my parents are just not trying to improve things on their own side. sorry for the rant.)

it's summer....

Japan is getting hot......and it will reach peak temperatures in June and July, i guess. The school students are all changing into their summer uniforms today, because it's like just...so warm nowadays.

I've been just too busy to update my blog. There are quizzes and tests everyday at school. Most of the time, it's just go to school, take quizzes, have lessons, come home, make dinner and tomorrow's lunch (bento) to bring to school, study, do homework, then sleep. There is literally no space for a little time for myself on weekdays.

There was a lunch reception for Singaporeans when President SR Nathan came to visit Japan yesterday. we had great food, SINGAPOREAN food. lol.


Fried Pork with green pepper, that was my dinner last night. And the cheapest dumplings i can find in town. They cost like 198yen with 30 in a pack!That's the curry i made tonight. Curry squid with pork, tomatoes, green pepper. It actually tastes good, unexpectedly.